Please take a look at Articles on self-defense/conflict/violence for introductions to the references found in the bibliography page.

Please take a look at my bibliography if you do not see a proper reference to a post.

Please take a look at my Notable Quotes

Hey, Attention on Deck!

Hey, NOTHING here is PERSONAL, get over it - Teach Me and I will Learn!


When you begin to feel like you are a tough guy, a warrior, a master of the martial arts or that you have lived a tough life, just take a moment and get some perspective with the following:


I've stopped knives that were coming to disembowel me

I've clawed for my gun while bullets ripped past me

I've dodged as someone tried to put an ax in my skull

I've fought screaming steel and left rubber on the road to avoid death

I've clawed broken glass out of my body after their opening attack failed

I've spit blood and body parts and broke strangle holds before gouging eyes

I've charged into fires, fought through blizzards and run from tornados

I've survived being hunted by gangs, killers and contract killers

The streets were my home, I hunted in the night and was hunted in turn


Please don't brag to me that you're a survivor because someone hit you. And don't tell me how 'tough' you are because of your training. As much as I've been through I know people who have survived much, much worse. - Marc MacYoung

WARNING, CAVEAT AND NOTE

The postings on this blog are my interpretation of readings, studies and experiences therefore errors and omissions are mine and mine alone. The content surrounding the extracts of books, see bibliography on this blog site, are also mine and mine alone therefore errors and omissions are also mine and mine alone and therefore why I highly recommended one read, study, research and fact find the material for clarity. My effort here is self-clarity toward a fuller understanding of the subject matter. See the bibliography for information on the books. Please make note that this article/post is my personal analysis of the subject and the information used was chosen or picked by me. It is not an analysis piece because it lacks complete and comprehensive research, it was not adequately and completely investigated and it is not balanced, i.e., it is my personal view without the views of others including subject experts, etc. Look at this as “Infotainment rather then expert research.” This is an opinion/editorial article/post meant to persuade the reader to think, decide and accept or reject my premise. It is an attempt to cause change or reinforce attitudes, beliefs and values as they apply to martial arts and/or self-defense. It is merely a commentary on the subject in the particular article presented.


Note: I will endevor to provide a bibliography and italicize any direct quotes from the materials I use for this blog. If there are mistakes, errors, and/or omissions, I take full responsibility for them as they are mine and mine alone. If you find any mistakes, errors, and/or omissions please comment and let me know along with the correct information and/or sources.



“What you are reading right now is a blog. It’s written and posted by me, because I want to. I get no financial remuneration for writing it. I don’t have to meet anyone’s criteria in order to post it. Not only I don’t have an employer or publisher, but I’m not even constrained by having to please an audience. If people won’t like it, they won’t read it, but I won’t lose anything by it. Provided I don’t break any laws (libel, incitement to violence, etc.), I can post whatever I want. This means that I can write openly and honestly, however controversial my opinions may be. It also means that I could write total bullshit; there is no quality control. I could be biased. I could be insane. I could be trolling. … not all sources are equivalent, and all sources have their pros and cons. These needs to be taken into account when evaluating information, and all information should be evaluated. - God’s Bastard, Sourcing Sources (this applies to this and other blogs by me as well; if you follow the idea's, advice or information you are on your own, don't come crying to me, it is all on you do do the work to make sure it works for you!)



“You should prepare yourself to dedicate at least five or six years to your training and practice to understand the philosophy and physiokinetics of martial arts and karate so that you can understand the true spirit of everything and dedicate your mind, body and spirit to the discipline of the art.” - cejames (note: you are on your own, make sure you get expert hands-on guidance in all things martial and self-defense)



“All I say is by way of discourse, and nothing by way of advice. I should not speak so boldly if it were my due to be believed.” - Montaigne


I am not a leading authority on any one discipline that I write about and teach, it is my hope and wish that with all the subjects I have studied it provides me an advantage point that I offer in as clear and cohesive writings as possible in introducing the matters in my materials. I hope to serve as one who inspires direction in the practitioner so they can go on to discover greater teachers and professionals that will build on this fundamental foundation. Find the authorities and synthesize a wholehearted and holistic concept, perception and belief that will not drive your practices but rather inspire them to evolve, grow and prosper. My efforts are born of those who are more experienced and knowledgable than I. I hope you find that path! See the bibliography I provide for an initial list of experts, professionals and masters of the subjects.

Emotional Immaturity & Emotional Maturity in SD

 Emotional immaturity can significantly undermine self-defense effectiveness because self-protection is as much psychological as it is physical. Let’s break it down in a structured way, then I’ll give you references.


๐Ÿ”น Emotional Immaturity in the Context of Self-Defense


Emotional immaturity refers to difficulty regulating emotions, poor impulse control, black-and-white thinking, dependence on others for emotional stability, and difficulty tolerating stress or frustration(Cramer, 2003; Blanchard-Fields, 2007).


In self-defense, these traits show up in critical moments and affect both pre-incident awareness and in-incident decision making.


๐Ÿ”น Effects on Self-Defense


1. Poor Threat Assessment

Immature individuals may misread intentions due to projection, egocentrism, or emotional overreaction.

They might see non-threats as threats (leading to escalation) or real threats as harmless (leading to victimization).

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Felson & Steadman (1983) found that poor emotional regulation increases victimization risk because of impaired situational judgment.


2. Impulsivity and Overreaction

Instead of applying proportional force, immaturity often drives either:

Underreaction (freezing, appeasing, or denial), or

Overreaction (excessive aggression, inappropriate escalation).

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Baumeister & Vohs (2004) highlight that self-control under stress is key to adaptive responses — lacking it worsens outcomes.


3. Ego and Dominance Traps

Emotional immaturity often craves validation and “winning.”

In self-defense, this can turn a defensive situation into an unnecessary fight for priderather than escape and survival.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Grossman (2004), On Combat, describes how ego-driven responses increase danger in violent encounters.


4. Fear Mismanagement

Mature individuals can channel fear into alertness.

Immature ones may:

Panic and freeze,

Lash out blindly,

Or dissociate (ignore reality of danger).

๐Ÿ“– Reference: van der Kolk (2014) shows how trauma and immature coping styles amplify freeze/dissociation under threat.


5. Breakdown in Communication & De-escalation

Many self-defense scenarios can be avoided verbally.

Immature individuals may respond to provocation with sarcasm, blame, or emotional reactivity instead of calm de-escalation.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Larkin (2010) emphasizes verbal skills and emotional discipline as pillars of conflict management in self-defense training.


6. Post-Incident Consequences

Even if they survive the encounter, emotionally immature responses can lead to:

Legal trouble (if force was excessive),

Psychological distress (rumination, victim mentality),

Social consequences (reputation, relationships).

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Artwohl & Christensen (1997), Deadly Force Encounters, note the importance of emotional maturity for handling aftermath responsibly.


๐Ÿ”น Summary


Emotional immaturity in self-defense typically leads to:

Misreading danger,

Freezing or overreacting,

Ego-driven escalation,

Poor fear regulation,

Inability to de-escalate,

Greater legal/psychological fallout.


Emotional maturity, by contrast, supports:

Situational awareness,

Impulse control,

Measured response,

De-escalation,

Resilient recovery.


✅ Key References

Baumeister, R. F., & Vohs, K. D. (2004). Handbook of Self-Regulation.

Blanchard-Fields, F. (2007). Everyday problem solving and emotion: An adult developmental perspective. Current Directions in Psychological Science.

Cramer, P. (2003). Personality change in later adulthood is predicted by defense mechanism use in early adulthood. Journal of Research in Personality.

Felson, R. B., & Steadman, H. (1983). Situational factors in disputes leading to criminal violence. Criminology.

Grossman, D. (2004). On Combat.

Artwohl, A., & Christensen, L. (1997). Deadly Force Encounters.

van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score.

Larkin, R. (2010). Verbal Defense and Influence.


Emotional Maturity in SD


Perfect follow-up — emotional maturity is really the hidden engine that makes self-defense effective. Where immaturity sabotages judgment, maturity creates clarity, discipline, and adaptability. Let’s unpack this fully with research-based support.


๐Ÿ”น Emotional Maturity in Self-Defense


Emotional maturity is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, maintain composure under stress, delay gratification, and act with perspective rather than impulse (Salovey & Mayer, 1990; Stein & Book, 2011).


In the context of self-defense, it shows up as:

Clear threat recognition

Calm but decisive action

Proportional response

Resilience during and after an incident


๐Ÿ”น Benefits of Emotional Maturity in Self-Defense


1. Accurate Threat Assessment

Mature individuals don’t let ego, bias, or fear distort perception.

They can distinguish between a real threat and an annoyance — avoiding unnecessary conflict while staying alert.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Goleman (1995), Emotional Intelligence — emotional regulation improves situational judgment and decision-making under pressure.


2. Impulse Control & Proportional Force

Emotional maturity provides a buffer between stimulus and response.

This means resisting panic, rash aggression, or unnecessary escalation, and applying only the force needed.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Baumeister & Vohs (2004) — self-control is key to adaptive survival strategies in stressful contexts.


3. Fear Management & Stress Resilience

Mature individuals can channel fear into heightened awareness rather than paralysis.

They stay calm enough for motor control, breathing, and technique execution.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Grossman (2004), On Combat — emotional maturity allows the warrior to keep a “combat mindset” without succumbing to panic.


4. De-escalation and Communication

Verbal skills are a primary self-defense tool.

Emotional maturity helps resist provocation, use calm tone, and project confidence without hostility — often defusing the encounter entirely.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Larkin (2010), Verbal Defense and Influence — emotional maturity underlies successful conflict de-escalation.


5. Adaptability Under Pressure

Immature fighters cling to rigid scripts; mature defenders adapt fluidly.

They can shift between awareness, avoidance, verbal skills, physical defense, and escape.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Lazarus & Folkman (1984), Stress, Appraisal, and Coping — mature coping styles allow flexible, situation-appropriate responses.


6. Post-Incident Stability

Mature individuals handle aftermath responsibly:

Reporting clearly,

Processing trauma healthily,

Avoiding cycles of revenge or guilt.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Artwohl & Christensen (1997), Deadly Force Encounters — officers with emotional maturity recover faster and make fewer post-incident errors.


๐Ÿ”น Summary


Emotional maturity strengthens self-defense by enabling:

Balanced perception (see reality, not fear or ego).

Controlled response (measured and proportional).

Effective de-escalation (avoidance when possible).

Resilient stress management (clarity under adrenaline).

Responsible aftermath handling (legal, emotional, social).


In short: immaturity makes you dangerous to yourself, maturity makes you dangerous to your threat.


✅ Key References

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence.

Salovey, P., & Mayer, J. D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, Cognition and Personality.

Stein, S. J., & Book, H. E. (2011). The EQ Edge.

Baumeister, R. F., & Vohs, K. D. (2004). Handbook of Self-Regulation.

Grossman, D. (2004). On Combat.

Lazarus, R. S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, Appraisal, and Coping.

Larkin, R. (2010). Verbal Defense and Influence.

Artwohl, A., & Christensen, L. (1997). Deadly Force Encounters.


Emotional Reactivity


Great angle — emotional reactivity is one of the biggest hidden dangers in self-defense scenarios. It’s essentially how strongly and impulsively someone responds emotionally (anger, fear, panic, shame, pride) when under stress or provocation. In violent or high-threat situations, this can be either a liability or an asset, depending on whether it’s managed or uncontrolled.


๐Ÿ”น What is Emotional Reactivity?

Defined as the intensity, speed, and duration of emotional responses to stimuli (Nock et al., 2008).

In self-defense, this means how quickly and strongly you “go off” emotionally when threatened, insulted, or attacked.

It’s deeply linked to fight-flight-freeze survival mechanisms and stress physiology (Sapolsky, 2004).


๐Ÿ”น Effects of Emotional Reactivity in Self-Defense


1. Impaired Situational Awareness

High reactivity narrows attention (tunnel vision), reduces scanning, and leads to misreading cues.

Example: mistaking a verbal insult for an imminent physical attack.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Easterbrook (1959) — high emotional arousal reduces perceptual field, limiting awareness.


2. Freeze or Panic Response

Excessive fear reactivity can cause immobility, delayed reaction, or inability to access trained skills.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: van der Kolk (2014), The Body Keeps the Score — trauma-prone individuals often default to freeze when hyper-reactive.


3. Over-Aggression and Escalation

Anger-driven reactivity often pushes people into “ego fights” instead of defensive disengagement.

Example: responding to a shove with excessive force, leading to legal and safety consequences.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Felson & Steadman (1983) — emotionally reactive individuals escalate disputes into violence at higher rates.


4. Cognitive Impairment (Adrenaline Dump)

Emotional flooding impairs fine motor skills, decision-making, and tactical judgment.

Reactivity makes it harder to recall de-escalation strategies or apply proportional force.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Grossman (2004), On Combat — describes how high reactivity collapses cognitive function under stress.


5. Failure to De-escalate

A reactive person may respond to verbal taunts with aggression rather than calming strategies.

This prevents the use of communication as a primary self-defense tool.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Larkin (2010), Verbal Defense and Influence — de-escalation requires low reactivity and emotional control.


6. Post-Incident Consequences

Emotional reactivity leads to regret, guilt, or legal trouble after the fact.

Overly aggressive reactivity = excessive force charges.

Freezing/reactive passivity = trauma, shame, and long-term vulnerability.

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Artwohl & Christensen (1997), Deadly Force Encounters — psychological outcomes are worse for those who lose emotional control.


๐Ÿ”น Positive Side of Emotional Reactivity


Not all reactivity is bad — when channeled, it can provide:

Adrenaline for power and speed (fight response).

Heightened alertness when arousal is moderate (Yerkes-Dodson law).

๐Ÿ“– Reference: Yerkes & Dodson (1908) — optimal performance occurs at moderate emotional arousal, while too high/low impairs effectiveness.


๐Ÿ”น Summary


Uncontrolled emotional reactivity in self-defense leads to:

Tunnel vision and misjudgment,

Freezing or over-aggression,

Loss of fine motor skills,

Escalation instead of resolution,

Increased legal/psychological harm.


Controlled emotional reactivity (regulated, not suppressed) can:

Provide energy and focus,

Support quick defensive action,

Enhance survival responses.


✅ Key References

Easterbrook, J. A. (1959). The effect of emotion on cue utilization and the organization of behavior.

Nock, M. K., et al. (2008). Emotional reactivity and regulation in psychopathology. Clinical Psychology Review.

Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers.

Felson, R. B., & Steadman, H. (1983). Situational factors in disputes leading to criminal violence.

Grossman, D. (2004). On Combat.

van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score.

Larkin, R. (2010). Verbal Defense and Influence.

Artwohl, A., & Christensen, L. (1997). Deadly Force Encounters.

Yerkes, R. M., & Dodson, J. D. (1908). The relation of strength of stimulus to rapidity of habit-formation.


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