Kyōfu to ikari [恐怖と怒り]
Sidebar: these are excerpts from the articles found in the links provided, enjoy! (Use this data to open doors to other options than anger and fear, use emotions in a more mature and productive way.
Anger is a carry over of thoughts and actions that takes the defender “out of the self-defense square” and becomes a part of the problem as to escalation and those consequences of illegality, etc.
However, based on my experience as a criminologist, I have concluded that anger is not a primary emotion. Anger is a secondary emotion or reaction. I believe that fear is actually the root of all anger.
no emotion is more powerful or motivating than fear. Anger-induced violence is rooted in fear.
To better get a handle, to develop emotional maturity, you must learn, understand, practice and train to “catch yourself” at as early a stage in the lead up to anger/fear as possible.
Calm is an antithesis to anger/fear, meditation through conscientious motion/movement connects us to our emotional center. Connecting things to our efforts in defense of conflict and violence connects moving meditative practices to our triggers.
When triggers hint to us of emotional upheavals we have an opportunity to redirect the stimulus toward our ability to trigger a state of calmness, for calm along with concepts like “diaphragmatic breathing” provides a foundation for calm to hold anger in abeyance.
Connect our triggers to they freeze, flight or fight response of human species survival and let calmness and our human brain bring about avoidance, etc.
The following are excerpts from a couple of articles, click links below for more, to motivate the reader to consider these awesome avoidance concepts because this is part and parcel to the art of avoidance in conflicts and potential violence.
Stages of anger? “The arousal cycle of anger has five phases: trigger, escalation, crisis, recovery and depression.” - Vancouver Island Uni
Stages of fear? An accurate description other than "fight or flight" would be "fight, freeze, flight, or fright" or, for short, "the four fs."
BEWARE: “Letting it (anger/fear) all hang out” is considered by “psychologists … a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that “letting it rip” with anger/fear actually escalates anger, fear and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you are angry or fearful of with) resolve the situation.”
Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger, describes anger as “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage”.
Anger is an emotion we feel, like sadness, fear, joy, and happiness.
Anger is a feeling that is normal and healthy, and serves the function of letting us know when all is not right in our world.
“Anger is caused by two basic things:
- Frustration: Not getting what we want, especially if we are expecting to get it;
- Feeling that others do not respect us or care how we feel.”
When we experience anger as a mild irritation it is relatively easy to manage our response. When it builds in intensity, depending on our experience and skill, anger can become increasingly difficult to manage.
The arousal cycle of anger has five phases: trigger (this is about beliefs, experiences and group dynamics, etc., that must be addressed before engaging, etc), escalation, crisis, recovery and depression.
Understanding the cycle helps us to understand our own reactions and those of others.
- The trigger phase is when an event gets the anger cycle started. We get into an argument or receive some information that shocks us. We feel threatened at some level and our physiological system prepares to meet that threat.
- The escalation phase is when our body prepares for a crisis with increased respiration (rapid breathing), increased heart rate and raised blood pressure, muscles tense for action, voice may become louder or an altered pitch, and our eyes change shape, pupils enlarge and brow falls. Take note of these things next time you feel angry. Your body stance may change as well.
- The crisis phase is when our survival instinct steps in, the fight or flight response. Our body is prepared to take action. Unfortunately, during this phase our quality of judgment is significantly reduced and decisions may be made without the benefit of the best reasoning ability.
- The recovery phase takes place after some action has resulted during the crisis phase. The body starts to recover from the extreme stress and expenditure of energy. The adrenaline in our blood leaves gradually. Quality of judgment returns as reasoning begins to replace the survival response.
- The Post-crisis Depression Phase is the point when the body enters a short period in which the heart rate slips below normal so the body can regain its balance. Awareness and energy return to allow us to assess what just happened. We may begin to feel guilt, regret or emotional depression.
Before entering into an environment or situation with potential conflict, ask yourself, “Do I need to go here? Do I need to be here? How do I feel in regard to what I see, hear and feel?”
Before engaging the other person(s) in conflict, ask yourself, “What exactly is bothering me? What do I want the other person to do or not do? Are my feelings in proportion to the issue?”
Notes: the buildup, the spark, the explosion, and the aftermath.
Notes:
A buildup's factors may be:
- Expectations (such as setting high standards placed by parents, authority figures, etc. that a child is constantly trying to meet)
- Self-esteem (low self-esteem that can influence how one deals with their anger, such as a child who is constantly bullied and thinks lowly of themselves)
- Past experiences (such as childhood history, experiences in school, or even a recent experience that affects a person's ability to deal with anger)
- Illness (such as being chronically ill, which may affect how a person deals with their emotions)
- Stressors and worries (such as having to go to school, work, and take care of one's family that may affect how one bottle up their anger)
- Attitude (such as feeling defeated constantly, which may affect the buildup of anger)
- Coping skills (if you don’t have the necessary skills, emotional maturity, to deal with anger it can muddy the waters as to how things unravel)
- Decide whether to engage
- Acknowledge the anger
- Stay calm
- Don’t continue if anger builds
Anger-induced violence is rooted in fear.
Violence, in all of its various forms, has been a common characteristic of societies throughout human history.
When negative emotions take the form of anger, they are most likely to lead to acts of crime, particularly violence.
Extensive research has shown that certain emotions are highly associated with crime, particularly acts of violence. Some of the primal and instinctual emotions associated with violence are pride, jealousy, lust, and resentment. However, and consistent with the GST of crime, contemporary research reveals that the human emotion most likely to lead to violence is anger.
Anger or rage is associated with a wide variety of violent acts, including homicide, aggravated assault, rape, domestic violence, child abuse, bullying, torture, and even terrorism.
… it is no coincidence that men are responsible for nearly ninety 90% of all murders.
On the positive side:
KEY POINTS
- If responded to appropriately, anger can have valuable qualities and be beneficial.
- Anger can empower us to reach goals and correct the wrong we may see in our lives.
- We can better process painful feelings when we allow ourselves to feel anger constructively.
If used properly, anger can help us move positively toward meeting our needs and goals. Anger provides information that allows us to better engage with the world around us. If we use anger as information to evaluate the situation better, we can adapt our response accordingly to better our position.
- Anger protects us. Anger is designed to protect ourselves from an enemy or danger. Anger motivates people to become attentive to threats and sharpens our focus. When we are threatened or attacked, anger is activated and drives us to fight back and act swiftly and forcefully to defend ourselves.
- Anger empowers us. Opposite to fear driven by helplessness, anger makes us feel in charge and gives us a sense of control. People who experience and display their anger in a proportional and balanced way are better positioned to fulfill their unmet needs and control their destinies than those who suppress their anger.
- Anger’s discharge is calming. When you experience physical and emotional distress, anger strongly motivates you to do something about it. As such, anger helps you cope with stress by discharging the tension in your body. The result of your action calms your “nerves.”
- Anger indicates injustice. Anger emerges when we are denied rights or faced with insults, disrespect, manipulation, exploitation, or injustice. Anger indicates that something is not quite right and that someone has been treated unfairly.
- Anger drives us to meet our goals. Anger motivates us to pursue our desired goals and rewards.When we don’t get what we want, anger is triggered, indicating we have moved away from our objectives. It energizes and pushes us to act to achieve our goals.
- Anger safeguards our values. Anger serves as a value indicator and regulator. Anger is activated when our values are not in harmony with our situation. It makes us aware of what we stand for and motivates us to take action to change the situation and realign it with our values.
- Anger instils optimism. Astonishingly, anger can bring optimism. It encourages us to focus on what we hope to achieve rather than focusing on the hurt, abuse, or victimization. The anger mechanism is geared toward what is attainable, not the impossible. As such, we feel positive about our ability to change the situation.
- Anger leads to self-improvement. Anger can make us better. It provides insight into our faults and shortcomings. If looked at constructively, it can lead to self-improvement. If we know what makes us angry, we can work on these triggers to improve our response.
- Feeling anger enhances emotional agility. Emotionally intelligent individuals do not resist anger. Instead, they utilize the wisdom of anger to enhance their well-being. As a result, these individuals have greater emotional flexibility and agility, and their response is more adaptive.
- Anger covers painful feelings. In its raw state, anger prevents (defends/blocks) you from feeling even more painful emotions. Once you allow yourself to feel anger constructively, you can dig deeper to process your painful feelings better.
- Anger motivates us to find a deeper self. Anger provides insight into ourselves. It is the top layer of much deeper and hidden parts of the self. This is why it is important to trace the trail of anger and dig down to find and address its source. We can only free ourselves from the suffering it sometimes induces after addressing the blockage that leads to anger.
If responded to properly, anger can be constructive and can have a beneficial role in our lives. In addition to its protective tendencies, it provides the motivation and action that empowers us to reach our goals and better ourselves. It pushes us to correct the wrongs we see in our lives.
Aristotle said, we have to be angry “with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way.”
Aristotle on Anger
For anger to be valuable and effective, it must be balanced.
By cultivating mindfulness, compassion and wisdom, we can use anger constructively.
For anger to be valuable and virtuous, it must be balanced—that is tempered to be proportionate to the situation at hand, and grounded in wisdom.
Virtuous anger is led by reason and moral judgment that promotes justice and fairness.
The function of anger is to motivate you to fix a problem or right a wrong, as well as to improve a situation.
Virtuous anger pushes you toward achieving harmony between yourself and the world around you, rather than separating them and setting one against the other.
Balanced anger is about articulating a proportional response to the situation.
Balanced anger requires you to take a position that respects both yourself and the other person. It is neither passive nor aggressive; you are neither a victim nor a villain. You consider the purpose of your anger and then choose your response to produce the desired impact.
How bad is the wrong that has been inflicted, and how weighty an action is required to “correct it?” Balanced anger is about articulating a proportional response to the situation.
Anger must tempered to be proportionate to the occasion and the context.
Using mindfulness and compassion, we can uncover the wisdom beneath our anger and then act on it.
Aristotle wrote, when used in a balanced way anger can be a catalyst for profound awakening—a portal to emotional liberation, relationship enhancement, and personal fulfillment.
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