In my heyday in the dojo, practitioners would want to ask questions in their never-ending search for truth, justice and the karate way. In one instance the question centered on the self and the effort to manage one’s emotions during the adrenaline dump in the face of violence.
The short answer I would pose is this, how well do you handle your emotions in the chaos of family dynamics because it is in that dynamic we are challenged most by our emotions. The second half of the short answer, how well do you handle your emotions in the chaos of social dynamics involving others?
I then wait patiently for their response because that will open the door to how I might expand my thoughts and thus, comments. I let what I said sink in and then observe the mass of micro-expressions, indicative of their ol-grey matter as it chugs away mulling things over in search of answers.
You see, I try to get things done in chunks, so the mind can begin to function at its optimal in the memory processes. I want things to stick, become important enough and thus be encoded in long-term memory where it can be useful in the creation of responses, word and actions.
As you are already mulling around in you mind, the most sensitive and emotionally provocative environment of family, the test and power of those overwhelming emotions are triggered faster, greater and in anger-infusing ways that test one’s patience, character and status more than any other concept, situation and stimulus’s!
From personal experiences, my emotional maturity has been tested and vetted more in family situations than in any other I know of, including situations of violence.
A key to success is to become consciously aware of one’s emotions in the family dynamic and then bridge that toward the social dynamic with others so that when in the social/anti-social situation you have a greater chance of handling things, to and in, your advantage.
Remember, no one will test your emotional maturity like family, friends and coworkers, etc.! ... especially family because they know your buttons far better than anyone!
Emotions, get a handle on them looooong before your emotions, adrenaline and emotions trigger that monkey mind who does not have your best interest at heart.