Training for Fear

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Fear and anger seem to be a pair of emotions that drive what we do. I see a sliding scale of fear in life. There is the low end where a person pretty much feels no fear and even with experiences fells very little.

There is the middle ground where experiences will trigger a normal moderate amount of fear so we may act according to nature’s survival drives.

Then there is that high end fear that almost everything one experiences triggers the hyper-amygdala state of hyper-vigilant over reactive responses.

In the best of worlds we want to live in that medium part of the scale to balance out life itself with the least amount of stress and anxiety along with acceptable reactions and responses that allow us to function... normally.

The objective or skill you must acquire and trigger in times and situations that cause the fear monkey to dance and toss knives at you is to control that fear so it does not become uncontrollable of the worst kind.

Worst kind of fear is that which dominates your life causing you to deliberatly take time to consider every possible thing you can before making decisions and acting because that will trigger the amygdala and put you into a state of hyper vigilance and that equates at the worst time to “the freeze” and/or “the Delay!”

Such a state results in one becoming indecisive, obsessive and turns everything into a desire toward perfectionism. All of these traits have a purpose for specific times, places and events but if they take control they hinder, slow us and expose us to the literal spears and arrows of grave harm or death in situations that warrant self-protection. 

here are some steps to use for training and practice so one becomes more aware of fear effects/anxiety effects so in the lessor levels of the spectrum of fear and anxiety we can learn to recognize it as it is triggered and develop instinctive responses such as combat breathing to lesson its adverse effects. What are the effects, do a search on the effects of the adrenaline chemical dump, it will provide you the understanding so you can create appropriate trained responses when it happens. 

Fundamental Principles for Fear and Anxiety

1. Take time out;
• take time out so you can physically calm down
• distract yourself for 15 minutes by walking around the block and breathing
2. Breathe, breathe, breathe through it;
• slow rhythmic deep diaphragmatic breathing;
• faster heartbeat or sweating palms, the best thing is not to fight it.
• feel the fear/anxiety without trying to distract yourself
• Place the palm of your hand on your stomach and breath slowly, deeply, and diaphragmatically
3. Face the fear;
• “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me and when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
4. Imagine the worst;
• Try imagining the worst thing that can happen and when it doesn’t, breathe!
5. Look at the evidence;
• challenge fearful thoughts
• ask yourself if you have ever heard of this happening to someone.
• Ask yourself what you would say to a friend who had a similar fear.
6. Stop trying to be perfect;
• Bad days and setbacks will always happen
• remember that life is messy.
7. Visualize a Happy Place;
• While breathing;
• imagine a place of safety and calm
• Let the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.
8. Go back to the Basics;
• Again, take a positive mind-state along with the deep rhythmic diaphragmatic breathing.
9. Reward yourself. 
• reinforce your success by treating yourself to a walk, a meal out, a book, a DVD, or whatever little gift makes you happy.

Also consider:

1. Allow yourself to sit with your fear for 2-3 minutes at a time. Breathe with it and say, 
• “It’s okay. It feels lousy but emotions are like the ocean—the waves ebb and flow.”
2. Write down the things you are grateful for.
3. Remind yourself that your anxiety is a storehouse of wisdom.
• Every time you experience fear and anxiety becomes a lesson to learn so you can create actions that will lesson and control these emotions. 
4. Exercise. 
• Exercise can refocus you (your mind can only focus on one thing at a time). Whether you go on a short walk, head to a boxing gym for an all-out sweat session, or turn on a 15-minute yoga video at home, exercise is good for you and it will ground you and help you feel more capable.
5. Use humor to deflate your worst fears.
• While breathing use self-talk, assuming this is not a do or die moment, about what you feel and why then dissect it logically so you can make fun of it both as a deterrent and a way to make it a lesson in fun.
6. Appreciate your courage. 
• “Every time I don’t allow fear to keep me from doing something that scares me, I am making myself stronger and less likely to let the next fear attack stop me.”

Let’s add one more here, “Anger!” Did you know that most often anger is triggered by fear and anxieties when they hit. Remember that a good start in anger control is learning what it is about that trigger that comes from fear or anxiety or both. This is a good solid fundamental basic skill that you can enhance and develop over time so that any level of fear, anxiety or anger hit - you have a trained instinctive response and action to handle it like a professional. 

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For reference and sources and professionals go here: Bibliography (Click the link)