Judgements

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This is something we all do every single day of our lives, we make judgements and what is most important is how we make or come to such judgements. Like all things in the universe there is the yin of it and the yang of it. A word today heard was the impetus for this article, "wallowing." You hear the word wallowing what is the first thing that comes to mind, is it positive or negative. I have to admit, for me, the first thought was a negative as if one who wallows is actually whining and crying about something. In truth, wallowing is yin and yang too because it has a lot of positivity to it when used properly. 

So, judgements should come from a place that results in positivity, growth and evolving into something better than the moment before. In karate, we judge a lot and in that judgement often it comes from a place used for promotions, rank and dojo-status. It is the very way we teach and it can be damaging because while we teach we are in a state of constant judging of those who would follow us. 

Let's say it, "people are used to being criticized to the point when no one steps in to criticize, people will self-criticize. We all know that a constant self-criticism is not a good thing and like all things in nature it should be dolled out in moderation. We do need both sides of the yin/yang to be balanced and complete but we humans often side with the self-criticizing side. 

In karate, nothing is wrong and nothing is absolutely right either (why some professionals use the phrase, "It depends."). If you find yourself constantly criticizing and correcting from a stand point of something is wrong you may want to readdress how you are teaching. You can be critical but in ways that result in positivity and that is most difficult to do since we and society have fallen into a criticizing posture and attitude. 

I have tried to convert my tendency to judge in the negative by telling myself when I come across things that I may not agree with and tell myself, "How can I convey my thoughts, idea's and theories on the subject in a positive way and without judgement?" One way is to look at everything as of some benefit then bring in other thoughts, etc., under the heading of, "what-if" so that we don't attack one's beliefs but provide a possible divergent way of thinking of the same thing.

All to often I hear people say and post and write, "your wrong or that isn't correct or what your doing is not karate or whatever," when to truly inspire change, the only constant to life and karate, is to present it is such a way as the recipient makes the decision to change without coercion from outside their belief system. 

If we look at everything with the lens of its positive nature then use that to discover other views, perspectives and ways to improve and change with beneficial effects, i.e., a win-win type of thing, then we inspire others to consider, analyze, test and possibly change - for the better of them and others. 

Trying to not judge is hard especially since the very fabric of modern society is to judge so it will be one of those things that require a constant awareness and effort to keep it out of the realm of judgmental behavior and in the light of possibilities. 

The next time you read a comment that trips your emotional trigger and beliefs take a moment to consider what it is about it that could be true, at least true to that person. Ask yourself, would my response be positive and non-judgmental? Then ask if your response is "necessary; true; positive; kind?" Then create a response that would simply provide a different perspective without slamming, criticizing and denigrating others as to their perceptions, not yours, and see what happens. 

I have been working on this a long time and most of those who read my efforts will tell you that I miss the mark a lot and that in that lot there are many, many times I am successful. I self-reflect when things miss the mark and I give myself just desserts when I am on the mark and then I make a concerted effort the next time I begin clacking away at my keyboard, pen/pencil and recorder. 

Note: the next time a student does something try looking for what they have correct, right and well-done then let them know that there are other ways to do the same thing and show/demonstrate/guide them to add to what it is they already know. "That's really good, try doing this the next time you practice it and let me know what you think?" Then show them; demonstrate to them; have them do it with you; repeat several times (three or five); then let them work on their own for a while. 

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