Please take a look at Articles on self-defense/conflict/violence for introductions to the references found in the bibliography page.

Please take a look at my bibliography if you do not see a proper reference to a post.

Please take a look at my Notable Quotes

Hey, Attention on Deck!

Hey, NOTHING here is PERSONAL, get over it - Teach Me and I will Learn!

When you begin to feel like you are a tough guy, a warrior, a master of the martial arts or that you have lived a tough life, just take a moment and get some perspective with the following:

I've stopped knives that were coming to disembowel me

I've clawed for my gun while bullets ripped past me

I've dodged as someone tried to put an ax in my skull

I've fought screaming steel and left rubber on the road to avoid death

I've clawed broken glass out of my body after their opening attack failed

I've spit blood and body parts and broke strangle holds before gouging eyes

I've charged into fires, fought through blizzards and run from tornados

I've survived being hunted by gangs, killers and contract killers

The streets were my home, I hunted in the night and was hunted in turn

Please don't brag to me that you're a survivor because someone hit you. And don't tell me how 'tough' you are because of your training. As much as I've been through I know people who have survived much, much worse. - Marc MacYoung


The postings on this blog are my interpretation of readings, studies and experiences therefore errors and omissions are mine and mine alone. The content surrounding the extracts of books, see bibliography on this blog site, are also mine and mine alone therefore errors and omissions are also mine and mine alone and therefore why I highly recommended one read, study, research and fact find the material for clarity. My effort here is self-clarity toward a fuller understanding of the subject matter. See the bibliography for information on the books. Please make note that this article/post is my personal analysis of the subject and the information used was chosen or picked by me. It is not an analysis piece because it lacks complete and comprehensive research, it was not adequately and completely investigated and it is not balanced, i.e., it is my personal view without the views of others including subject experts, etc. Look at this as “Infotainment rather then expert research.” This is an opinion/editorial article/post meant to persuade the reader to think, decide and accept or reject my premise. It is an attempt to cause change or reinforce attitudes, beliefs and values as they apply to martial arts and/or self-defense. It is merely a commentary on the subject in the particular article presented.

Note: I will endevor to provide a bibliography and italicize any direct quotes from the materials I use for this blog. If there are mistakes, errors, and/or omissions, I take full responsibility for them as they are mine and mine alone. If you find any mistakes, errors, and/or omissions please comment and let me know along with the correct information and/or sources.

“What you are reading right now is a blog. It’s written and posted by me, because I want to. I get no financial remuneration for writing it. I don’t have to meet anyone’s criteria in order to post it. Not only I don’t have an employer or publisher, but I’m not even constrained by having to please an audience. If people won’t like it, they won’t read it, but I won’t lose anything by it. Provided I don’t break any laws (libel, incitement to violence, etc.), I can post whatever I want. This means that I can write openly and honestly, however controversial my opinions may be. It also means that I could write total bullshit; there is no quality control. I could be biased. I could be insane. I could be trolling. … not all sources are equivalent, and all sources have their pros and cons. These needs to be taken into account when evaluating information, and all information should be evaluated. - God’s Bastard, Sourcing Sources (this applies to this and other blogs by me as well; if you follow the idea's, advice or information you are on your own, don't come crying to me, it is all on you do do the work to make sure it works for you!)

“You should prepare yourself to dedicate at least five or six years to your training and practice to understand the philosophy and physiokinetics of martial arts and karate so that you can understand the true spirit of everything and dedicate your mind, body and spirit to the discipline of the art.” - cejames (note: you are on your own, make sure you get expert hands-on guidance in all things martial and self-defense)

“All I say is by way of discourse, and nothing by way of advice. I should not speak so boldly if it were my due to be believed.” - Montaigne

I am not a leading authority on any one discipline that I write about and teach, it is my hope and wish that with all the subjects I have studied it provides me an advantage point that I offer in as clear and cohesive writings as possible in introducing the matters in my materials. I hope to serve as one who inspires direction in the practitioner so they can go on to discover greater teachers and professionals that will build on this fundamental foundation. Find the authorities and synthesize a wholehearted and holistic concept, perception and belief that will not drive your practices but rather inspire them to evolve, grow and prosper. My efforts are born of those who are more experienced and knowledgable than I. I hope you find that path! See the bibliography I provide for an initial list of experts, professionals and masters of the subjects.

Courtesy, Where has it gone to?

Blog Article/Post Caveat (Read First Please: Click the Link)

Literally, it is defined as: “the showing of politeness in one's attitude and behavior toward others; a polite speech or action, especially one required by convention.” Social courtesy is defined as: "excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior. a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression. indulgence, consent, or acquiescence..."

A courteous person is defined as: "If you are courteous, your good manners show friendliness and concern for others, like your courteous habit of holding the door for people entering a building with you. The adjective courteous comes from the Old French word curteis, which means having courtly bearing or manners.”

What is etiquette, it is defined as: “following rules that govern behavior- it might be the reason that causes you to behave a certain way. Courtesy is behaving in a way that benefits others- it means thinking of the effect of your behavior. ... Courtesy is politeness, respect, and consideration for others.”

Cultural etiquette or courtesy is defined as: “what you call the codes of behavior that rule different cultures - in other words, what's acceptable and what isn't in a society.”

It is said at one source that “modern manners, codes of behavior, decorum and rules of etiquette matter in every culture and society – they illuminate and respect the human experience. Observing manners when out and about in society is, and should be ‘cool’, even in a casual setting.”

It has been of recent times to my perspective that most of modern society, we humans as a species of a cultural and social nature have fallen from grace in regard to our social and cultural courtesies, i.e., our social and personal etiquette is nil to null to barely passable. 

In the martial communities the concept of courtesy toward harmony and enlightenment to cement our social connections that literally mean survival seems insincere because it barely, if ever, manifests into our daily lives. We seem to feel it a requirement toward some goal like rank or grade and then we dress after training, walk out the dojo doors and resume our modern natural behaviors that I feel left etiquette and courtesy both cultural and personal in the darkness of dev-null (a void in computer unix lingo meaning gone forever and untraceable and unable to return to the light of day). 

In the dojo it is referred to as, “reigi [礼儀]” where the characters are defined into English as, “manners; courtesy; etiquette.” The three terms cover, as the above definitions indicate, what it is that is missing well because we often fail to have good manners, proper courtesy and act according to social and cultural etiquette. 

In our race to get more gadgets, apps and “likes” we have created an environment and attitude of commercial consumerism based on influence and compliance where without we lose status and we cannot attain our desire for instant gratifying things and feelings. We have seemingly forgotten that courtesy is actually tied to human species survival. 

We have deluded ourselves into thinking that such things are not necessary and when we suffer, anger and violence follow. We resist rules not set individually and without concern for the rules and rights, both written and unwritten, of others further causing seperation and loss of connection necessary toward our very survival. 

Some quotes that lead to this feeling:

"Intolerance of others' views (no matter how ignorant or incoherent they may be) is simply wrong; in a world where there is no right or wrong, it is worse: it is a sign you are embarrassingly unsophisticated or, possibly, dangerous." 

The ideologue is hyper-judgmental and censorious, always knows what's wrong with others, and what to do about it. It seems that the only people willing to give advice in a relativistic society are those with the least to offer.  

This leads me to feel that folks have forgotten what courtesy and etiquette bring to our survival and we assume that social media makes up for that when in truth it does not because humans need contact and contact means social interactions where we can feel, touch, see, hear and even taste others of like mind. 

How best to get a better picture of why such things are critical to human survival, socially and literally, read the post on Chaos and Order that follows this post. 

Back on track, I remember not only being trained in social etiquettes, familia and group oriented, that I also felt it and learned more because it was a requirement of attending schools as well as mandated in almost all social interactive situations and environments. That seems to be slipping into oblivion in today’s modern fast-paced overwhelming stimulated world. 

It seems to me that such courtesies result in what one author terms, “shared belief systems.” It says, “Shared belief systems - shared systems of agreed upon conduct and expectation - regulate and control the powerful emotions of disgust, contempt, guilt, anxiety, dread and rage. People will fight to protect something that saves them from being possessed by emotions of chaos and fear and terror (and after that from degeneration into strife and combat).  AND Loss of group-centered belief renders life chaotic, miserable, intolerable; presence of group-centered belief makes conflict with other groups inevitable.”

We are headed, in my feeling of the situation, into a deep chasm of chaos. Chaos and order are defined through a taoist symbolism of yin/yang in that one must live on the line between chaos/yang and order/yin to find a balance that works personally and socially, i.e., group order. The author goes on to state, “We require rules, standards, values - alone and together. We are pack animals, beasts of burden. We must bear a load, to justify our miserable existence. We require routine and tradition. That’s order. Order can become excessive, and that is not good, but chaos can swamp us, so we drown - and that is also not good. We need to stay on the straight and narrow path. There is a dividing line between chaos and order and that is where we are simultaneously stable enough, and cooperating enough.”

What is the solution, take out the rule books on courtesy, manners and etiquette and make them a part of home training and practice while supporting and enhancing the family training with social in the school systems. I remember long, long ago when such training was mandatory, it was considered critical to ‘getting along’ in social group environments and situations. 

It might be best said, “Civilization only arises when some restraining rules and morality are in place. - Dr. Norman Doidge, MD

I once heard, read, a very famous and successful person of character, honor and personality who said his secret to success was, ‘tenacity and gratitude,” where gratitude is just one trait of one who holds courtesy and etiquette as a hallmark, cornerstone if you will, to not just success but survival and that is because those traits and skills are the ones found in proper reigi. 

When next you bow out of the dojo, remember to keep that honor of manners and courtesy for everyone you meet out there, in the universe and in environments that you live and work and socially connect on a personal basis with others, out there…

For reference and sources and professionals go here: Bibliography (Click the link)
I used: Tangorin Online

No comments: