R.E.S.P.E.C.T.!

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It is apparent that folks dole out respect without truly understanding what that really and truly means especially in the martial art and karate communities. What drove this article is a comment made on a social media wall, i.e., "my respect" while bowing using a graphic. I do understand and you probably already know or understand that there may be or have been a relationship between the person offering his or her respect to the person or person's that triggered his or her desire to demonstrate and articulate respect. 

Yet, if you can imagine it, there are many more offerings of respect that are not built on any type of relationship and that the expression has become, at least in written form and on social media, a knee-jerk reaction of folks that don't truly have respect yet expect that it is expected in such situations. 

In the dojo, often such demonstrations of respect such as the bow, rei, are mandated rather than earned with the hope that members will come to respect the dojo, the kohai, the senpai and the sensei as well as the art, the style and the systems involved. In many cases and you already know this does occur and still for every situation and social collective that achieves that goal there are, as you can imagine, many that don't and the expression is merely a thing we have to do to get the coveted black belt. 

If we look at the bare bones of the term we fine that to have respect one must discover, attain and develop "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements."

Just because you observe someone; just because that someone may have a reputation; just because that someone has rank; just because someone achieves some special goal often displayed by trophies, certificates, and other "bling"; just because their status may appear, seem and trigger certain emotional reactions DOES NOT mean that either side has true deep admiration that is often gained through some sort of relationship where their abilities, qualities and achievements contribute something to the other person or trigger concepts of the other person that develops a connection, even if not personal, that inspires that person to achieve some goal or objective for themselves. Not as a copycat who merely mimics the actions of the individual, the creative aspect that one develops and achieves because of another inspirational actions and deeds and beliefs. This is the hallmark of social reality and species survival. 

The best description and definition I have considered and adopted says, "Respect is a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something considered important, or held in high esteem or regard; it conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities; and it is also the process of honoring someone by exhibiting care, concern, or consideration for their needs or feelings. AND Some people may earn the respect of individuals by assisting others or by playing important social roles. In many cultures, individuals are considered to be worthy of respect until they prove otherwise. Courtesies that show respect include simple words and phrases like "thank you" in the West, simple physical gestures like a slight bow in the East, a smile, or direct eye contact, or a simple handshake." - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respect

This kind of respect between persons, groups and social collectives does not just happen because someone or some group demonstrates something on a video or wall or at a seminar. It is something, in my mind, that comes from a relationship, as stated earlier, or at least a relationship, say with your long time sensei, who passes on to you the respect they have from their relationship with someone else. Even then, that only triggers an immediate respect that still has to be earned by a new relationship. 

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. this is what the term means to me...R.E.S.P.E.C.T.! Last word, I provide respectful attitude and actions toward everyone I meet regardless. The continued respect is about that relationship and how the other person and me relate to one another in regard to, "feelings developed; actions taken to one another over time; matching of personal human qualities; how we come to care for our relationship as friends; how we take consideration as to our feelings as they relate to each of our perceptions, beliefs and concepts, etc. You see, respect is not just something you belt out to others just because, it is something special similar to the respect and camaraderie military folks develop through the connection, character, personality, training, and "walking the walk." It is what makes us human while connecting us together to grow, prosper, evolve and survive as individuals and friends and family. 

Thanks for listening to a philosophical expression of R.E.S.P.E.C.T.! The next time you get the urge to express a form of respect to anyone or anything, give this a thought, “Is it true; is it appropriate; is it necessary; does it have substance; and is it TRULY YOUR FEELINGS?” When you express respect, is it true and felt or are you just expressing empty platitudes? We had a way of expressing this when I was on active duty in the military, “Are you truly being respectful OR are you just ‘KISSING ASS?’”

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