Blog Article/Post Caveat (Read First Please: Click the Link)
Ever notice when presenting a set of facts, or theories or ideas with associated reference to show how you got there those who disagree, especially from emotional positions, avoid the subject and content and go for emotional responses that have nothing to do with either the subject or content solely as misdirection/Deflection so their beliefs take center stage?
Notice how, if you fail to see it coming it leads to something else to further their agenda?
When you finally get off the monkey 🐒 train 🚂 and begin to contemplate the events you realize you fell prey to misdirection/Deflection and not once did they address the true nature of the subject and content until they got what they wanted to begin with, there own generated evidence to justify their agenda and a way to solidify their beliefs so they remain safe and secure.
Humans do that especially when it seems to refute there beliefs or seems to reflect negatively on them, their beliefs and especially their tribe, clan or group or status, in say the karate community, in which they are members while you as the article author are an, "Other."
Did you see how they generated emotionally charged counter arguments that cannot be fact checked or argued logically that due to their state always leave any counters as mere fuel for more unfounded emotionally irrelevant rhetoric?
It is like a loved one who says, "If you respected me you would not leave the toilet seat up!" You respond by saying you put the seat down all the time but that is not the true subject but misdirection/Deflection fueling more of the same with the lid changing to taking out the garbage and so on. The true subject being, "Do you love her?"
Using misdirection/Deflection is a way to foster aggressive responses to move away from the true issue to one the other can argue and win.
To say you have ten years of experience for a discipline that takes up only a small part of your life is first fooling yourself, and then it is fooling others to present it as truthful and factual is not right.
I write an article on karate so a disgruntled reader reacts emotionally and says, “If you know karate, if you met the master, you wouldn’t write crap.” Since the last statement takes a dominant position in the mind you, especially when it triggers your emotional monkey brain and the adrenal rush hits, you will address it first by saying something like, “I don’t write crap, it is fact based … yadda yadda yadda.” If you don’t or are unable to catch yourself and back it down this can go on forever. Their focus, deflection, toward their agenda, i.e., you don’t know karate and you don’t know the master, is a total misdirection as that has nothing to do with the subject of your article and assigning personal emotional traits to it, i.e., you are disrespecting … yadda yadda yadda, the truth and true exchange will never materialize.
Now, in their defense I would, hopefully after backing it down a notch, reflect on what they said/stated and find the true problem on their end then correct that especially if I made a mistake as long as I am able to keep my articles core intent then I would rewrite it along with regrets or apologies as necessary to reconnect and work the communications process again.
Literally, the time and effort to do this has another effect, it allows the other side of the discussion to also cool down, back it down a notch and then approach the next phase with appropriate caution and open eyes then there is a chance communication lines can be reestablished. Both of these are rare especially after the cat got loose and the monkey began his or her dance under the light of the moonbat.
I speak from experience because I too have fallen prey to such things. It seems humans avoid this type of recognition so when it does become apparent it is a bit disconcerting to say the least.
I would add, as additional reference, taking a look at the bibliography for the books, “The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense” series for all the attack methods used can be found within the good Doctor’s pages.
Oh, heck, here they are:
Elgin, Suzette. "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense" Barnes & Noble. 1993.
Elgin, Suzette. "The Gentle Art of Written Self-Defense" MJF Books. 1997.
Example:
Satir Modes
These 5 communication modes were first described by Virginia Satir in her book People-making.
Blamer: This mode comes out of a need to feel powerful. Blamers act like they are in charge, and whatever's wrong must be somebody else's fault. Blamer-mode communication often sounds angry.
"Why are you ALWAYS DOING things like THAT?" or "Only an IDIOT would leave the door open on a hot day like today."
Placater: This comes out of a wish to avoid conflict, and a fear that everyone will abandon the speaker. Placaters insist that things are all their own fault, and that they'll go along with whatever the other person says. Placater-mode sounds frightened and desperate.
"Oh, you know I don't mind. WhatEVER you decide is okay with me" or "WHY do these things always happen to ME?”
Computer: This comes out of a fear of showing one's real feelings. Computers try to avoid saying "I", and sound very formal.
"That is a perfectly normal reaction to this crisis" or "One must remember always to close containers after they have been opened."
Distracter: This is a confused blend of other modes. Distracters are panicked, and jump between modes.
"Don't you talk to ME like that, young lady! I'm sure any rational person would be calm right now. Please, just settle down; I'll be quiet if you will, okay?"
Leveler: This is just what it sounds like—someone who's telling the straight truth about their thoughts and feelings. However, there are phony levelers, who've learned to act like they're being truthful and telling just their plain feelings; these are the hardest to spot, and the most dangerous. (Tony's statement in the sample story is an example of phony leveling.)
"I hate it when you tap your pencil like that" or "I'd rather skip the movie and catch up with you later."
Oh, and these references were found from a book written by Rory Miller and his stuff is most excellent as well for study (this article has nothing to do with Rory’s work except as the source of the above references).
Bibliography (Click the link)
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