My Only Regret

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Reputation, reputation in our society is everything. We all depend on our reputation to survive but what we, me, sometimes forget is that others perceptions of us is how the perceive our reputations and reputations can make or break you dependent on your self-goals in life. 

I learned a not so long time ago that regrets serve no purpose. Performing after action type analysis of self and how you do, think and act are beneficial to continue learning, understanding and growing as a person and as a member of the tribe. Even when one tries to remain solitary they still have to deal with others to live and survive. It is a natural nature thing!

I have a certain strong affinity to my studies, my training and practice of karate and martial arts, and to the very way I live my life and I hope that it resulted in a reputation that is positive to me and to others when we come together for all reasons. 

Reputations can work both ways as well, a good reputation can both be seen as very good and very good with reservations. For instance, I have a certain reputation in work but often expressing that work ethic and reputation in getting a job done can and does on occasion cause friction and discomfort to those I work with or associate with in getting the job done. See what I mean? 

I have a pretty good reputation (or so I think and on rare occasions been told) in karate and martial arts. But, a very BIG BUT, for most in the karate and martial arts communities to accept and regard my study, understanding, expression, training and practice I need a different kind of reputation that is most often based on certain things and traits seen overall by the community as considerable validation of expertise, etc. 

First, very few karate-ka and martial artists out there actually know me and have trained with me first hand to witness, experience and understand my qualifications and expertise. This social connection is absolutely critical if you would desire certain benefits from what you do. In general, most of my karate and martial arts is internal so I have no need to get approval and/or validation from others as to their views, perspectives and distinctions as to what is or is not of value in karate and martial arts. I just didn’t start this discipline with any of that in mind and have flourished remaining singularly, mostly, alone in my efforts. 

But, another one of those big BUT’s, is I like to write and teach now. I have reached a stage and age where I still love to train and practice at least solo but I also love to write and hopefully be accepted and used by others to gain a bit more knowledge but most of all gain a bit more insight to the various and many differences in karate and martial arts studies. There is always another way to look at the same subjects to gain a bit wider view and understanding. 

As a fledgling writer I take on a large view and many subjects to write about in my blogs. I plan on writing eBooks covering a few areas of karate and martial arts of self-defense and here is where my only regret lies, i.e., because I don’t have that social connection through both close association and time of the dojo floor most will not even glance at the book cover let alone get a copy and add it to their library - even if provided as a free eBook. 

It is a bit like those early days for one martial arts luminary who once stated, I think unless this is another of those story legends, that he was not being seen and recognized as an expert until he decided he would take up sport tournament competitions and only then after winning trophies and titles at the time representing what most think of as expert credentials. Then and only then did his dojo take off and become successful and that lead to his life changing and his reputation growing causing everyone in the field then even those outside the field to view him with a reputation of expert and master. 

This is my one and only regret, that I didn’t also take up that way of practice, training and competition creating a reputation that would be seen and recognized by my peers as someone to listen to; someone to seek out as a teacher; someone of great ability; someone of great knowledge and understanding and on and on and on. I simply didn’t need, nor want or desire that type of life and reputation no matter how good and beneficial it would be as a writer of karate and martial arts self-defense stuff. 

I see it as something I will have to do when I fully retire and take up writing fiction. I don’t care about making money as a writer, a huge obstacle I am sure, but I do want to create a reputation that brings folks to my books for the pure pleasure of the story I write and the two differences may or may not actually jell but I do have considerable confidence and hope that my stories will reach some semblance of acceptance in the world of science fiction writing. 

So, you can see now that I am never regretful for anything I have or have not done in my life except for this one small regret, that I didn’t create a facade that achieved a reputation that would make my name and my efforts stand out and be sought after in the karate and martial arts communities.

My live in this discipline has been successful, beneficial and of great wonder to me but to pass that along requires that reputation to which I now speak of (write of actually). 

Regardless, I keep writing and if I influence even one single soul out there that takes them on a life long journey in karate and martial arts the by association life then I am successful in that one small part of my overall effort, nice!

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p.s. at this age, in my winter years, I often think back on my life and how I lived it and I find that I have done far more than most, achieved great results in all I have done and been a life success with no regrets. I have learned a lot and I have achieved great things. It may not be what others see as success but to me that matters not for I feel my success and I feel a certain gratitude and serenity and I still have many years more to live. 

p.s.s. Yes, I firmly believe one who has gone the distance; one who has tread a variety of paths; one who has taken the extra effort and steps to learn, know, understand while living and breathing it is not more or less capable of providing insight, new thoughts and considerable knowledge and experience while not being known, of such reputation or even socially connected. Everyone has something to offer and to discard, ignore and/or denigrate it simply because they don’t have the trophies, the accolades, and the recognitions often attributed to “Experts and Masters” does not mean it has no value. Actually, to discard and ignore such sources limits the growth of the individual who remains stuck in such ruts. Granted, it doesn’t hurt but it shouldn’t be an absolute requirement. Then again, I would say that - right?