Now, granted not many will actually connect impulse control with SD but just think about it a moment. I quote, “There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse.” - Emotional Intelligence, “The Master Aptitude” chapter 6
Think about how most of us end up in violent situations? When it comes down to it often it is the inability to resist impulse, especially when it is driven by out monkey brains on drugs, i.e. the physical chemical flooding often called the adrenal stress dump. How we handle impulse in our lives does effect how we react to situations at all levels.
Think of it as “emotional self-control,” i.e. “all emotions, by their very nature, lead to one or another impulse to act.” - EI, “The Master Aptitude section of chapter 6.”
What I propose is that SD training must also include how one practices to control those types of impulse where one might say or do something that will cause an escalation of conflict toward violence. It is said in the EI book, ‘The capacity to resist impulse to act, to squelch the incipient movement, most likely translates at the level of brain function into inhibition of limbic signals to the motor cortex, though such ain interpretation must remain speculative for now.” It is that ability developed or enhanced that fundamentally is “the ability to restrain the emotions and so delay impulse.”
Lets see about how one who is more adept at controlling impulses can be “less apt to go to pieces, freeze, or regress under stress, or become rattled and disorganized when pressured.” Those folks tend to be more “self-reliant and confident, trustworthy, and dependable; they take initiative and plunge into projects; they are able to delay gratification in pursuit of their goals.” Lets see where this leads.
Controlling impulse in a conflict can be achieved not only through training and practice but also by developing those traits found to be that which controls or assists controlling impulses. When we succumb to self-gratifying impulses to feel good about what we are doing, most especially when the monkey is running the show where that monkeys gratification is often counter intuitive to safety, security and good health, let alone the best resolutions in any conflict, tend to hinder our ability to control our impulse to simply, “kick that assholes ass.”
If your goal happens to be avoidance of conflict and especially violence then these traits trained and practiced under the appropriate environment, i.e. both the physical and emotional, etc. then we can achieve better impulse control. If we are able to control how we act and react to conflict, danger and violence along with the emotions triggered in such circumstances such as anger and fear then we can come closer to achieving more acceptable goals, tactics and strategies.
Controlling impulses are synonymous with controlling the monkey. The monkey is driven by emotions and flooding when it comes to conflict and violence so it may be that focusing on the many factors driving our monkeys including a healthy look at our self-control or impulse control may assist in our SD goals and training/teaching strategies and so on.
Think of it this way, delinquency is connected to emotional intelligence, i.e. “impulse to control in childhood is a powerful predictor of later delinquency.” EI also means a greater ability to accurately read social situations, that can still be learned. Isn’t one of the many abilities in SD geared on how one would actually read social situations, i.e. social violence usually comes from social situations gone astray, etc.?
Impulse control, that ability either innate or developed through training, practice and application in ever day life can be connected to learning how to apply such impulse control under the effects of flooding in a conflict with potential to escalate toward physical/psychological violence. Is this something to pursue in SD training and practice?
Questions, questions and more questions. Is “impulse control” just another way to look at the “monkey brain?” How does one train and practice an impulse control response, well the book suggests a possibility, i.e. “goal-directed (I assume setting certain goals to train your impulse to act) self-imposed delay of gratification is the essence of emotional self-regulation: the ability to deny impulse in the service of that goal, whether it be solving a mathematical problem or pursuing a self-defense ability. This is often referred to as an “emotional intelligence meta-ability.”
In social situations where things can get out of hand it might be practicing recognition of when your actions or your mouth are about to spit out something cute or irritatingly offensive so you can soothe your monkey mind you simply tell your monkey to shut the f*(& up then restrain yourself from saying your mind. Whenever you get the urge to spit something out you count to ten or when you decide that you want that latest and greatest electronic device you hesitate, think then take time to reconsider whether you actually need it now or whether it can wait - then wait.
I have a feeling we all can relate to impulses to do things quickly and for instant gratifications but how about every other time you resist that temptation as a means of building that impulse resistance muscle up.
In the MA/Karate world, you might get the impulse to skip over some boring and tedious requirement thinking it is not worth the effort - stop, think and then resist that impulse. This could be a novice training and practice goal. In other words, hit that impulse control red button to put a hold on your monkey when it wants to slap some silly asshole up side their head.
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