My internalization tends to take me to a lot of places. Some I like and some I don't care for but all of them have always been to some benefit to my life. I am not sure that my turning of eye inward results in a clear picture. After all, we are all subject to perceptions as that builds from the moment of birth through life encounters of father, mother, siblings and others as we come in contact with family, friends (old and new) and others. Each encounter results in some type of influence and the influence results in some change within each of us. How that change and those changes contribute to our character and personality is also dependent on our perceptions and changing perspective of life as we live it.
As an intervert/introvert I tend, as many interverts do, look inwards. My live is a result of that character trait, intervert and the inward perspective. Because I rely heavily on this aspect of my life I tend to war with my two worlds, one is a yang aspect and the other a yin aspect. My two worlds tend to fluctuate between one end of the spectrum to the other with an ultimate goal of finding and maintaining balance.
I wonder sometimes when I feel balanced if it is a true balance or is it a false one contrived from some story I create from within to make life balanced, not comfortable but balanced. Maybe that constant feeling of being uncomfortable is actually normal and good but I ask myself, "how would I know?" This type of conflict of worlds made me think of several things this morning on the way to work.
First, I got to thinking about character and personality. Not the type of character as would come to mind when you think of stories, movies or television drama's, etc. The type of character with the mental and moral compass that is distinctive to that individual above all others for a unique nature, personality, temperment and disposition that makes a person either good or evil and lots of times a balance of both. Personality is that aspect within character that is often the outward facade that other persons encounter in society. Personality is that something that makes a person interesting and popular. Personality is a combination of the emotional, attitudinal, and behavioral response patterns of that individual. Both are required for a well balanced person and is often influenced by culture and belief systems for the group to which they belong - especially for survival.
Often character and personality are adjusted when in a social situation to blend in with that social group. How far that adjustment is matters. Where I am heading is when character and personality become either separated or when one dominates the other to take the driver's seat of a person. It is this area when personality drives the persons life leaving their true character and personality in the closet.
When you observe, as I have done this last five years, the goings on of life, say at work for this example, you can perceive the perspective of lost character over the glitz and glamour of personalities. This is going to be hard to explain. Let me try.
This thought process brought on the thought of modern martial arts and traditional or classical martial arts. Both have character and personality that makes them unique to the times in which they are practiced.
Most modern martial arts are chocked full of personalty where uniforms are covered with bling, blitz and egoistic trappings, the promotion of expertise that is high level drama oriented coverings vs. substance and the trappings of what others perceive and think put a lot of surface personality leaving true substance or character out of the equation for the need and desire of instant gratification and excitement without pause over the importance of substance that makes character true and real.
Traditional martial arts has character built on the substantial character that developed over long periods of time through diligent hard work consisting of blood, sweat and tears to create a character of traditional martial arts that builds the type of character directly connected to and relied up said character to exist. Traditional martial arts, supported by history, culture and beliefs that over time built a character and personality that leaves the trappings of glitz and glamour of window dressings laying by the road like road kill.
I find today personality of the glamour movie influenced instant gratifications to hide from the hard work and trials and tribulations of real life to have taken control. Recently I have discovered that I lack a solid balance of character and personality where my character controls allowing only a smidgeon of character to come through. This may have been positive in my early days but today it is important to have a balance of character and personality to achieve good social cohesion, at work anyway.
What I am saying is I found through self-analysis or as some would say "after action analysis and report" that when I give the full characterized results of work to others they take homage. They seem to need the personality over the substance. They resent it when the character and personality makes them uncomfortable. Comfort seems to be the buzz word and the way of modern times resulting in anything other than the impressive personality is not desired.
I hear words from many such as "high level" thinking leaving the grunt work of details to flounder by themselves. They jump from one high level ideology thinking that it will make things work and fix the problems without taking into consideration that the context and character of the work matters where that is the rubber that meets the road. Maybe think of it as a tire without an tread - personality alone and then think of a good tire with the best tread and steel belted for road handling and control, etc. - character built personality that really grabs the road and makes the vehicle go fast, safe and reaches the destination with maximum fuel efficiency, timely travel and arrival with a vehicle loaded with product for delivery.
Ayn Rand wrote a book called Atlas Shrugged. I difficult book to read and yet when first published in 1936 actually, seemingly at least, speaks to modern times. So much so it remains in publication with the latest edition reprinted August of 1999. It has even been made into a move, i.e. Atlas Shrugged Part I and II, so far (there should be a part III but popularity of the movie might mean it will not be made).
I war with the two worlds within me and feel that as an Intervert it takes away from the balance I should achieve with character and personality. Maybe my ranting is disjointed and unclear and yet it is such a difficult subject to see and understand. I see personality taking the extreme spectrum and wonder if Ms. Rand's predictions in fiction will take hold in reality of our current time and I see that possibly the age of personality will reach a cresendo and then suddenly fall flat on its face taking us spiraling down where character and personality may once again take hold first with a larger quantity of character to rebuild true and real personality back until we reach a balance of both. The true trick and the one thing that is life is finding balance and then even more difficult and the true strategy of life to "maintain balance" for prosperity and the future.
I also hope in the martial art community that we will shift back and away from the sole personality ego pride driven practice to a more balanced practice with the type of character and personality that will foster a future of traditional/modern martial arts.
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