Tingling, the Hairs on the Back of Your Neck

Do we listen when the tingling sensation triggers? Why don't we listen? Even if we listened, why don't we act appropriately when the tingling is triggered? 

First, most people don't listen. They tend to scoff at it and assume it means nothing. Second, we don't listen because we don't have the knowledge that would possibly tell us that we need to find safety and security when the tingling begins. We are subjected to so much false perceptions as to life, conflict and violence that we don't want to believe that it all could happen to us. We have become comfortable in our tiny universes called our lives. In reality, thanks to human nature in most cases, we seldom encounter the type of conflict and violence that would result in damage, etc. BUT things do happen in life that are unpredictable and sometimes dangerous. 

If we listened and had the appropriate knowledge, bare minimum, that would identify and then cause us to act, i.e. avoidance by leaving to find safety and security, etc. then maybe violence and conflict would be minimal in our lives. Part of this is deviating from the comfort of every day life if for no other reason than avoiding or at least reducing complacency. Complacency is one factor, in my opinion, that leads to being a victim and a victim is a target. 

This is terse and simplistic, only good to peak your curiosity toward finding out more. In my view waiting until something happens resulting in a need for defense or seeking self-defense lessons is a bit late. Consider this, if you were a victim and now you feel you need to learn something, is it possible that if you took the time to learn or gain the knowledge on these subjects that maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't have a reason to seek it out after the fact?

We see on television news, read in newspapers and on eNewspapers as well as on video's conflicts and violence against people simply because it is perceived as drama so makes for good standings and that means money. The fact that it seems like watching movie's or playing video games we say, "it can't happen to me" and ignore the facts of life. Not a good thing.

We all encounter conflict daily. Do we acknowledge it as such and then take appropriate steps to stop it? Not often. Take me for an example. I came to realize that most of my professional life has been based on conflict. I was an asshole. I was a bully. This may seem impossible but I didn't realize just how bad I was at communicating that I used tactics I learned as a kid to get what I wanted and to get the things I wanted done, done. I was an asshole and I am trying to lose that label even today. 

It came to me from my studies of self-defense, conflict and violence. The one that gave me the most insight came from the bibliography of Rory Miller's writings, i.e. the gentle art of verbal self-defense - all of the series. I learned just how bad I was from the examples and stared to notice a trend within the way I was socializing, both social and professional, with others. I was an asshole. 

If I had not taken the time to seek out such knowledge I would still be an asshole. Maybe I am still an asshole but at least not for the reasons I discovered over the last few years. I can tell you that this would also be a bad thing if not discovered in any type of deescalation scenario. I can definitely say it has made a difference in how I communicate with my family - improving every day. Get this, I am an introvert as well so go figure. 

I would not have discovered this if not for my seeking of knowledge in the violence/conflict arena, i.e. martial arts, military service, and the desire to understand self-defense - the entire spectrum of self-defense. I even find it has improved my working professional efforts. 

So, even if you think you don't need self-defense knowledge, training and experience you may find that the knowledge within this field or discipline also applies to most every thing you do in life. Don't wait till you need this stuff to find out what it is, accept it as reality and then learn from it.

An asshole trying not to be such an asshole. Funny, I am also turning sixty this year. Took me a long time to realize things. Better late than never.