Talking vs. Listening

Verbal Self Defense or the art of communications as to martial arts self defense/protection, etc. seems to have two sides to that coin as well. I have posted that learning to communicate in a fashion to avoid conflict is critical to teaching self defense yet I discovered that it has other benefits as well, both good and bad.

First, talking is unhealthy. It is unhealthy when it is not conducted adequately to remove conflict - avoidance. It is also unhealthy because researchers have discovered that talking, both emotionally charged and the more innocuous, causes stress that involves blood pressure, etc. All those things we discuss in the adrenaline dump caused by fear also involve simply talking. Read more on page 236 and 237 of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-defense at Work to get the full explanation.

Second, listening is healthy. It is healthy when you actively listen to someone in a verbal  situation that keeps things out of the monkey's hands. It allows us to deflect fighting. It allows us to remove the language that would cause us to get into a fight. It creates the ability, one part, to avoid conflict be it verbal or physical. Now, add to that the fact from the same research that listening lowers blood pressure, slows the pulse, and improves the chemical processes within the body at every level.

I guess you may not have realized that to achieve control in any conflict it takes keeping things like respiration, etc. low so the mind can function at its best in critical situations yet you may not have realized that listening actively to someone shouting in your face, part of the monkey dance, you promote this lowering of the body functions to enhance breathing and its benefits to remain in more control and allowing you greater ability to avoid.

The art of listening coupled with verbal self defense can do both conflict avoidance-deescalation and increase healthily benefits to the body and mind. It also enhances those attributes used to control fear, anxiety, stress of all kinds be it life experiences or more conflict oriented encounters.

Bibliography:
Elgin, Suzette. "The Gentle Art of Self-Defense at Work." New York. Prentice Hall Press. 2000.