Reality Gaps

A reality gap is the huge differences in the way two or more persons perceive a situation. This is huge and what I feel is a foundation resulting in many cases in conflict - at every level including physical. The reality gap is what a person understands to be fact or truth and it is going to be a distorted view in every related message that follows.

This gap is linked to a gap in power between persons in communication. In the dojo that gap is usually between Sensei and sempai/kohai or instructor and practitioners both junior and senior.

How many times have practitioners discovered truth somehow that is not what they perceived from the instructor. This comes from a lack of awareness on the part of an instructor and their communication skills as coupled with teaching tactics/strategies. Language, its presence and absence can either promote full understanding with little or no gaps and that means language in reciprocal communications.

In VSD, verbal self defense, this reality gap can get you in a bunch of trouble or it can get you out of it quickly and safely. Reality gaps seem to me as the core cause of loss of control and physical altercation - monkey dance.

Anger and its results tend to come from reality gaps along with power gaps, i.e. perceived standing in a group, family, tribe, and even work. What a Sensei might say vs. a practitioner of equal proficiency will come across as vastly different simply because of that level of power. One might come across like a requirement with no give while the other may come across as a suggestion or idea to share.

Can you see how this might warrant more research so knowledge will provide an awareness the next time you communicate with anyone even in a SD situation allowing for avoidance and deescalation?

I apologize now if my post is lacking in accurate meaning but if you get inspired to find out more than I feel like it was a success. :-)

Note: To get the full skinny on "reality gaps" please read,

Bibliography:
Elgin, Suzette. "The Gentle Art of Self-Defense at Work." New York. Prentice Hall Press. 2000.