Being an Asshole 💩

Iyanayatsu ni naru [嫌な奴になる]

 - Alfonz Ingram & cejames

Throughout research on self-defense, defense, it has been said and written, "Don't be an ASSHOLE!" For instance, when dealing with law enforcement the very first and foremost of importance in surviving the encounter is, "Don't be an ASSHOLE!"

In that light I felt it wise to find out, generally speaking, what asshole means. Here you go:

The term “asshole” has been analyzed in both popular culture and academic contexts, referring to a person whose behavior is selfish, insensitive, or antagonistic. 

Philosopher Aaron James explores this concept deeply in his book Assholes: A Theory, defining such individuals as those who feel “entitled to special treatment” and “immunized against the complaints of others.” James argues that an “asshole” operates with a sense of moral impunity, violating social norms without guilt, feeling justified in treating others poorly because they see themselves as uniquely deserving of privileges others do not have.

1. Sense of Entitlement: According to James, an asshole sees themselves as above the rules that govern everyone else. This sense of entitlement means they often dismiss feedback or critique, assuming they are exempt from norms of respect or fairness. Their actions might involve cutting in line, disregarding social etiquette, or treating service workers poorly, assuming these behaviors are acceptable for them.

2. Lack of Empathy or Perspective-Taking: Psychologists have studied individuals with traits associated with “asshole” behavior, often linking it to narcissistic or antisocial personality traits. Studies on narcissism, for example, show that people with these traits may lack empathy and struggle to see situations from others’ perspectives, leading to behavior perceived as arrogant, dismissive, or condescending.

3. Resistance to Self-Reflection: Another characteristic is a lack of introspection; individuals who consistently act in ways others find disruptive or hurtful often avoid self-reflection, instead rationalizing their behavior as justified. This resistance is often reinforced by defensiveness or denial, and they might blame others or society rather than consider their own impact on others.

4. Effect on Social and Workplace Environments: Research on “toxic” behaviors in workplaces has shown that individuals who act inconsiderately or disrespectfully can lower group morale and productivity, even leading to what psychologists term “emotional contagion,” where their negative behavior influences the mood and behavior of others around them.

These traits often lead to strained relationships and negative perceptions, as their behavior breaches social norms that are fundamental to cooperative living.