Blog Article/Post Caveat (Read First Please: Click the Link)
We, of the karate and self-protection persuasion, talk a lot about deescalation in self-defense but seldom is it obvious that we actually teach something of substance. In the following notes there will be lessons, remember my article, "The First Lesson?" that one can take to task in learning how to truly avoid violence and violent situations.
First, it's about people and how people interact with one another.
Note: Once you encounter where a persons tone or demeanor is perceived as critical - look for the discomfort in the situation - that person(s) are already in a "defensive position." They will feel a strong compelling urge to defend their position, there freedom to do what they want if you will. If you approach one with the same, you are going to fail.
When you encounter people and situations of a critical highly stressful situations immediately set your tone of voice to a soothing process, i.e., when you speak use a tone and cadence that is of pitch that gently rises to asking questions of curiosity and falls to apply a feeling of calm reassurance. Above all, actively and truly listen to the person(s). To NOT put blame anywhere, especially on the person(s) and/or situation(s).
Allow yourself to be perceived as vulnerable by flipping the problem on yourself and then admit your concerns to apply how you can overcome the problems. You can also actively listen to their perspective, draw them and that perspective out in the open - get them talking to you about it and then LISTEN. Show your understanding and appreciation for their plight. Remember, be and remain "non-confrontational" in sharing your thoughts on that something.
Mirroring is a concept and trait of an active listener. Repeat in your own words back to them, lay it out in a non-threatening way so they can hear you reflect, mirror, back to them their feelings. You want to influence behavior, let that person make the decision to change then let them. You do this by remaining non-threatening and non-aggressive. Stay calm and patient and understanding and then acknowledge their points of view, ask them to consider thinking a little differently and believe you are doing the best that you can do.
What matters most regarding the first lesson is that your mind, mind-set and mind-state must be such that one’s ego is suppressed so that one’s character dominates. Once we learn that then the greatest obstacle to our self-protection and self-preservation is gone and then we can truly focus on what matters such as the suggestions contained in my articles/posts.
What follows is the article that inspired this process.
https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/mask-etiquette-coronavirus-covid19-fbi-hostage-15416464.php
For reference and sources and professionals go here: Bibliography (Click the link)
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