Blog Article/Post Caveat (Read First Please: Click the Link)
In my most recent study the author stated nicely, "Self-control is the #1 mistake made in the avoidance category. Having a strong and effective mindset is not just about always being alert and ready to jump into action. Proper mindset involves enormous self-control. Not only for anger and ego issues, but for fear and other emotional spikes which will disrupt your rationality and push you into crossing the line away from self-defense and into criminal charges." - Varg Freeborn, Violence of Mind
You cannot kill or use force over property and you cannot kill or use force over hurt feelings so get over it, relax and avoid that shit.
The only time one should consider entering into harms way with aggressive physicality is when their's or their loved one's lives are in imminent danger. Everything else is about ego, status and other socially and personally driven monkey dancing stuff.
You really have to ask yourself the following questions:
- What are you willing to go to jail for? AND
- What are you willing to lose your economic stability for? AND
- What are you willing to suffer the psychological and social ramifications for? AND
- What are you willing to KILL for? AND
- What are you willing sacrifice to cause grave harm to another human being for? AND THEN
- What are you willing to do?
- What are my boundaries and resulting parameters that I will adhere to and not break, exceed or ignore; AND
- Am I willing to stretch the social boundaries required to safeguard, protect and defend?
- Am I willing to stretch the legal boundaries required to safeguard, protect and defend (stand your ground, etc. statutes/laws, etc.)? AND
- Are you answering these questions totally and with compete self-honesty?
- Are you answering these questions while considering dissonance and bias effects?
We humans have absolutely no control over other humans except through compliance and influence applied principles and those are iffy as to success in aggressive possibly violent conflicts. Is it worth it especially if it involves things that can’t be put physically in a wheelbarrow that involve imminent danger of grave harm or death. Will it escalate or deescalate? Is avoidance better? You take chances that are volatile if you try to use your compliance and influence skills to achieve those goals making avoidance a higher priority.
Self-control is not covered in this way in most self-defense programs especially in martial arts BECAUSE it isn’t exciting, get hands on fun and not boring stuff. Self-control is the psychological strength and maturity and intelligence one requires if and when they decide to use self-protective measures once avoidance and deescalation are exhausted and the proverbial fight is on. What about if you are totally surprised, suffering a blitz flurry of damage and on the ground curled up in a ball trying to trigger action of reaction?
This is just the tip of the iceberg and once you look under the surface and perceive the immensity of what lies below you know that a full and comprehensive program is necessary because it is your life, your economic stability and longevity and your freedom/life are at stake, what are you willing to do including incorporation of such mundane studies in your self-defense program?
I quote from Marc MacYoung, “Getting your shit together requires a level of HONEST (self-honesty in particular) you can’t even imagine. There is nothing easy about realizing you are the one that’s been holding YOU back this whole time. (emphasis mine)” Think about this, let the emotional side balanced by the logical sensible side and consider this.
Thanks to Varg Freeborn, Violence of Mind, for the inspiration in this particular article/blog!
Addendum dtd 4-18-2019 at 10:30hrs
Notes that follow are additional insights from the above author’s book:
“train in ways that give you the advantages to succeed in self-defense and accomplish objectives without breaking those rules, laws, statutes and social realities.”
“Any relevant and appropriate self-defense training will have a curriculum that adheres to the laws, statutes and social realities of the environment in which you live or apply those skills. This can be successfully implemented and accomplished by a properly trained person operating with a controlled mindset that is focused completely on achieving the goals, objectives and skills.”
“Proper mindset is not just about fighting; it’s about maintaining control over yourself under pressure. The most effective self-defense posture is having solid, mature and an intelligent self-control in any stressful environment.”
Social Media Sources: “What you say and the various media’s you post on the internet provide prosecutor’s and the legal system indirect evidence, regardless of the when and where and why of the posts, they will use to convict even those who clearly met the self-defense requirements in their defense. It often shows how you have pre-determined attitude or action whereby if you are attacked or one invades your home and you act to defend and protect with force that is a permanent record stating your attitude of possible aggression, etc.”
Social Media Sources: “Every time you post something that even resembles a perceived sentiment, you are weakening your case for self-defense should you ever find yourself in a violent conflict/confrontation. Every post on social media, every little comment made on any random post or comment even on other posts all goes into a recorded history to live forever somewhere.”
Social Media Sources: “Do NOT discuss deadly violence loosely. One day your life and freedom may depend on everything you have ever said about the subject, and every way you have prepared, and every class you have taken. Everything you do or say is a permanent record that can be used against you at any time in the future, no matter how long it has been. Try to stay fairly positive in public and on social media.” Comment: this is why words matter; words matter in the way and the what and the why you teach for that teaching will come out in stressful situations; words be they spoken, written or video'd, etc. MATTER because they can and WILL BE USED AGAINST you if you have to defend your self-defense.
For reference and sources and professionals go here: Bibliography (Click the link)
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