Hearing

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One of the hallmarks of avoidance and deescalation is the ability to actively listen. People who actively listen need to not just hear the words but interpret the tone, cadence and rhythm of those words; to interpret the emotional inflections that drive the words; to perceive and interpret the facial expressions and finally, but not last or all encompassing, the body language. 

Professionals of violence have said time and again that to deescalate you must first and foremost listen to the person(s) to understand what drives them in this moment and than try to resist your internal voice while evaluating things so you can..."talk them down; influence them; make acceptable suggestions" to reach an objective of avoidance and deescalation of aggression and violence. 

If you are like me and you have hearing disabilities you may find this process even more challenging than if you had normal hearing. This is why, in self-protection whether using karate or martial skills or not people in the self-defense industry must take this into consideration. 

In that light, the following quotations from a hearing challenged person site they have this to say when communicating with hard to hear or deaf folks:

Listening Is Exhausting! 

Listening for comprehension requires focus. That level of focus is different for someone with normal hearing than it is for those with hearing loss. People with normal hearing are able to listen passively – even allow their attention to wander, say to an iPhone or television screen – and still respond to auditory cues in the conversation. For someone with hearing loss, multitasking during a conversation means something completely different. In fact, multitasking frequently interferes with their ability to follow the discussion. They typically have to devote greater attention to reading your lips and deciphering cues and gestures.

Keep in mind, hearing aids and cochlear implants do not restore normal auditory function, they support hearing. Here are some tips for communicating with people who are deaf or hard of hearing:

• Try to stand 3 to 6 feet from the listener. It’s the sweet spot for hearing aids to pick up sound.
• Hearing aids pick up sound the best from the front, so a listener may tilt or turn their head towards you while you’re speaking.
• Ask which side to sit on in order to ease hearing for them.
• Encourage the listener to choose the best location in a noisy place (usually not the center of the room, but more to the side where background noise is limited).
• Consider this: even people with normal hearing gather 25% of their comprehension from visual cues, such as reading lips, gestures and facial expressions.
• Ask the listener what topic they want to discuss, or tell the listener what you want to talk about. Giving the listener context is a big help, because it makes it easier to follow the details, so they can focus on the meaning of what you’re trying to say.
• Try to stand so you are facing the light from a window or lamp. When a light is shining on the back of your head, your face is backlit and cast in shadow. That makes it more difficult for a listener to read your lips, see facial expressions and follow gestures.
• Speak more slowly and don’t have anything in your mouth, like a piece of gum, when talking.
• Keep your hand away from your mouth when speaking.
• Try to stay in one place when conversing. For a person with hearing loss, it’s tough to hear and comprehend what you’re saying when you’re moving around, for instance crossing from one side of the room to the other.
• Limit the background noises and distractions, such as a television, dishwasher, radio, or vacuum.
• Be patient. The listener may ask you to repeat something you said or to confirm details. Consider writing down specific details for them, like a meeting date or a person’s name, so the listener doesn’t miss any necessary information.
• Even for people with normal hearing, there is a slight delay as the brain processes sound and puts it in context. Give the listener’s brain a moment to process the auditory information it’s received.

Can you imagine how our hearing is critical to how we perceive and interpret our world and that active listening is not just about active listening in general. It is about how both parties listen through that sense called “hearing.” Not only can this provide hints to the “tells” of one who is hearing challenged but it also tells you, if you are challenged, how to adjust your training to achieve better results for avoidance and deescalation. 

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