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Active listening is the type of listening very few humans actually engage when in group communications. Most when they hear the very first perceived personal connection to the comment immediately jump to their answer and then wait, sometimes, or interject/interrupt the speaker, most times, to express their point of view - a view often wrong and has nothing to do with what the speaker was trying to present, to communicate. For most, communications is most often a ‘one-way street’ where the signs, ramps and directions outside the mind of the person are often, mostly, ignored so the speed through the streets ignoring stop signs, walk crossings, and other warning signs of danger and trouble as they blindly journey along highways created in their own minds.
Where this becomes most dangerous to the health and well-being of our species is when conflict and violence is involved. Guess what, our species would not exist or survive if not for our very nature toward conflict and violence for both come in all shapes, sizes and levels of force, etc., it is the way of our species.
Active listening is being involved wholeheartedly in the communications system. Humans tend to lean heavily on what experiences they have accumulated so it is natural to have the mind pull up things related or possible related or directly related to what they experience in any given moment but where the rubber meets the road is when the tire has an appropriate amount of tread to squeeze the water off the road to the rubber grips the reality of the pavement. We do the same thing through active listening where data is extracted without biases, i.e., like cognizant or confirmation bias. To use an analysis and synthesis process to work out information to relevancy, validity and reality over succumbing to biases that will just hinder your ability to understand and survive.
Ok, you want to get laid. In order to get to that goal you have to make some decisions where you will have to actually actively listen to the other person because deep down inside you know that to connect to that person so they also connect will often lead to having SEX. The whole social process is tricky and full of landmines so in order to detect those and avoid being blown out of contention for that SEX you really have to actively listen to what is being communicated, i.e., words, voice inflections, etc., and body language all require an awareness and attentive focus because in the SEX game, to win you have to see the moves, hear the triggers and tells and then act accordingly or YOU WONT GET LAID.
Now, what has been just described applies to all forms of communications so the goal here is to find your reasoning that says, I will actively and truly and completely listen in a conversation then in accordance with the message actively listen and participate to “GET LAID.”
In the dojo, if your practitioners are there to learn self-fense or to learn a way then active listening in a productive form of communications is the only way they will learn and appropriately apply that learning in live and in self-fense.
This article is not about teaching active listening and proper teaching methods, you can get that elsewhere in my blogs, in books and through experience attending seminars, etc. But in a nutshell active listening is, “Active listening is a communication technique used in counseling, training, and conflict resolution. It requires that the listener fully concentrate, understand, respond and then remember what is being said.”
Another source states, “Active listening is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. Often when people talk to each other, they don=t listen attentively. They are often distracted, half listening, half thinking about something else. When people are engaged in a conflict, they are often busy formulating a response to what is being said. They assume that they have heard what their opponent is saying many times before, so rather than paying attention, they focus on how they can respond to win the argument.”
And that statement leads to active listening which is, “Active listening is a structured form of listening and responding that focuses the attention on the speaker. The listener must take care to attend to the speaker fully, and then repeats, in the listener’s own words, what he or she thinks the speaker has said. The listener does not have to agree with the speaker - he or she must simply state what they think the speaker said. This enables the speaker to find out whether the listener really understood. If the listener did not, the speaker can explain some more.”
Are you actively listening to your students, do you perceive the students as actively listening to the teachings in the dojo, and do they demonstrate an understanding of what was taught in the actions of practice and training? If yes, then active listing is achieving the goals of the dojo and the teachers, if not then look closely at the teacher because they set the tone of the dojo and those members tend to follow the teachers lead. What goes around comes around so if the teacher is spreading inappropriate teachings that will come back around sooner or later but if they are actively listening and applying the teachings then that too will come around with a more appropriate and efficient result.
Choushu [聴取] is translated to mean, “Listening; hearing; audition; radio reception.” The first character translates to, “Listen; headstrong; naughty; careful inquiry,” the second character translates to, “take; fetch; take up.”
Akira [聴] is translated to mean, “Hearing.”
Choukaku [聴覚] is translated to mean, “The sense of hearing; to listen.” First character translates to, “Listen; headstrong; naughty; careful inquiry,” the second character translates to, “memorize; learn; remember; awake; sober up.”
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