Blog Article/Post Caveat (Read First Please: Click the Link)
Status quo, often in martial arts directed toward a specific style, a specific dojo and a specific sensei, sempai and kohai as to the doctrine of the style as well as that of the dojo and sensei. It becomes so ingrained that sensei is put on a pedestal and his doctrine becomes immutable, irrefutable and just dogmatic in its beliefs, culture and perceptions.
If you dare to question the beliefs and culture you will meet with a vehement and often angry response even when you provide irrefutable factual proof, not conjecture, theory, idealogical or first person memory driven interviews. They will immediately other you as an outsider of the tribe or clan, as a traitor to the cause or provocateur. Once you become an “Them or Other” vs. “US or group member, etc.,” then it is easy to disregard any and all things you present even as stated when irrefutably true, relevant and proved through a variety of means acceptable as scientific, factual or researched proof especially if from two or more different resources.
Once this takes hold then no matter what lines of communications outside of their own echo chamber rhetoric reasonable work and data and facts will just not work to change the status quo of the group, tribe, clan of dojo community. I have personally witnessed truth proven be refuted with unsubstantiated information simply because it was, “My sensei tole me,” and “The Master said it was so,” responses. Not even for the sake of argument and discussion is such blasphemous information allowed and that is a shame.
What it comes down to is active listening to foster amenable and beneficial communications so topics can be discussed, analyzed and synthesized into proof positive or even something new and relevant to the situation, the times and the experiences of all involved. When listening one listens to any question, any answer, any response, to the exchange of disagreements regardless so as to find and dig out the truth, the facts and the end validations necessary to make the way, the path, a good one. We don’t shut down others, their comments or their efforts but listen with a mind toward the possibility that what they say is true and then ferret out what it may be true of - analysis. Noting on either side is the unquestionable and irrefutable truth.
Even when the truth is found remaining open minded to the fact that as change occurs in each moment and with each situation that truth then is changed and synthesized into ta new relevant truth to the situation and moment.
It has been said and I quote, “Listening includes asking for reasons, facts and perspectives. It does not mean accepting conclusions or disregarding your reasons, facts or perspectives.“ Communications is about listening actively, exchanging each’s reasoning of their facts and perspectives and perceptions; accepting or discarding conclusions until the group arrives at a mutually agreed upon conclusion.
Challenging the status quo is the law of the Universe, of nature, where change is normal, inevitable and natural. Everything changes in every moment and to refuse to change is damaging to the self, to the dojo, to the dojo mates, and to sensei’s regardless.
Challenge everything, even if you are told you should not challenge the teachings of your sensei, the styles master or other luminaries on the martial arts community. Mastering and being an expert means you have embraced the cheng-n-ch’i methods, the analysis and synthesis model and seek the path to knowledge and understanding no matter the obstacles. It is about doing rather than being, think about that one.
“If you dare challenge, they’ll turn their fury on you. They’ll blame you, accuse you of being a traitor to the cause, a sell-out and do everything in their power to silence you or get the group to turn against you. This rat-packing and bullying is a very real factor inside groups.”
“They quietly self-isolate inside their group where they can stick with their interpretation of what the cause is about. Thus creating an “Us vs. Them” environment.”
The question begs, “Ok then, what can you do?”
- Find some commonality between the two disparate parties and open a line of communication through that channel.
- Moderate, make sure you can find reasonable and willing parties willing to work with other people.
- Be an active listener by accepting what others say and find what is true about that.
- Avoid extreme tactics, i.e., automatic urge toward disagreement, etc., as they are excuses to attack or bully.
- To foster mutual communications while actively listening ask speaker for reasons, facts and perspectives without biases.
- When disagreeing wait to hear actively the entire perspective and perception, stop and contemplate and then ask more questions for clarity, what they mean according to their beliefs, etc., and why they believe it to be so.
- Look to find what the persons perspective is that they look from.
- Avoid using your own beliefs through filtering what is being said according to your perceptions, perspectives and beliefs - remain open as possible.
- Understand the persons interpretations as to why it looks like that that person.
- Once the person has expressed their point of perspective and perception then filter that information from your perspective and perceptions while maintaining thoughts of what that persons truth might be true of and try to synthesize your side and theirs through connected commonalities, etc.
(“Oh yeah, here’s a free tip about getting people to listen to you and something I touched on before. Don’t use the same lingo as the extremists are -- especially just before or while they are attacking. It’s that whole, people can’t tell the difference between you and extremists if you’re both using the same language thing.” - Marc MacYoung)
Bibliography (Click the link)
Hat tip to as the inspiration for this post.
“In order for any life to matter, we all have to matter.” - Marcus Luttrell, Navy Seal (ret)
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