Friggin Monkey Dung

The monkey slide is a term used in the book, “In the Name of Self-Defense,” by Marc MacYoung. I understand it, I believe him when he states that when the monkey gets triggered while you are aware of it that it slides you right down into the same old monkey dance it has always done before. I really hate that shit. 

Thank goodness in this instance of enlightenment the monkey slide only triggered my angry loud monkey dance and that the repercussions didn’t lead to a beat down, damage or even death. All it did this time is confirm and re-confirm that I am a complete asshole. This shit really sucks. 

I saw it, realized it and understood that it was some really stupid crap but my voice rose and my anger flamed up just the same. That sliding shit really sucks and sucks and sucks. Granted, now that I have calmed down I see it even more and I know it is stupid crap I shouldn’t do and I also know that if I don’t rein it in that someone may actually take my head off, literally, because of my asshole-ness. When I do this shit, I really hate my slide and even with that the friggin monkey still takes me for that ride. Asshole, the monkey is and since he and I are one, me too. 

I am just really, really glad that at my worst asshole-ness I wasn’t beat or killed because I can be a truly big asshole. When that monkey dances the jig I really get bent with myself. I didn’t’ acknowledge it back then and now count my blessings. It truly is a violent verbal assault and maybe I do need to have my ass handed to me on a platter to get it through my thick skull and into that monkey brain. 

How does one train to stay away from the monkey dance especially when their conscious human brain knows beyond a doubt it is stupid and just plain asshole-ness (the kind that gets your ass kicked or killed). You can’t always train the trigger or button that sets off the monkey even when you train diligently for the adrenal stresses, etc. After all, I believe that the trigger is key and if that trigger goes off regardless of the adrenal stress conditional training would still send us down that monkey slide, right? 

I guess it comes down to recognizing it, hopefully, before the trigger and monkey slide start but often that is too late. After all, as Mr. MacYoung indicates in his book, you can recognize it, know you are in the slide and yet away you go fully blown into the monkey’s ride until you settle or get your ass handed to you, neither a good thing.