I am an Asshole

In past posts I have felt that I was removed from being an asshole. At least removed enough to where I was an asshole only a very infrequent amount of times. i.e. in other words I could be an asshole but was able to work harder and not be an asshole except in very rare cases. Well, I am an asshole and I have been an asshole more times than I like but only discovered that I was covering up my "asshole-ness" using tactics that still meant I was being an asshole. 

So, the question is, "How do I get myself to stop being an asshole?" In the recent book by Rory Miller I believe just one item may be a true litmus test as to whether I am in an "asshole mode" or not, checking to see if I am working from my Monkey brain or Human brain. I am not going to try and provide what it takes to determine between the two but I have my personal criteria that when I am able I will use to say to myself, "Am I in the Monkey mode? (meaning, Am I being an asshole?)" 

Just as an example, I will use just one trait, emotional context. If I can, and I mean that because as Mr. Miller says in the book the Monkey and emotional stuff usually hits you before your Human side can even think, I will try to determine if what I am doing or saying is from the emotional side. If it is, then I will try hard to bring my mind back from the Monkey antics into a more Human, logical, side. I have to learn not to cover up being an asshole, or in the Monkey stuff, with something that is simply camouflaged as logical or Human.

It is a bit like the post from Wim Demeere this morning where he mentions simple vs. complex and easy vs. difficult. The concept is simple but it is also what I perceive as the most difficult thing I want to learn. 

It occurs to me that the old adage that one who reacts emotionally should count to ten before charging ahead with words and/or actions is true. But just counting is not enough. Maybe counting allows you to lessen the effects so you can actually see yourself being an asshole and then deescalate your emotional Monkey brain so you can see, feel, hear and act using the Human brain. 

If all this is a bit strange then maybe you could find out what both these guys have posted/written, just saying. Maybe, I have hope, this will allow me to get a better handle on my Monkey brain and reduce my "asshole-ness." 

To keep with the purpose and spirit of my blogging I would say this has value with self-defense and martial arts because to use either one effectively you really do have to take control of the Monkey brain. If you want to know more, see Rory Miller's, Wim Demeere's, Kris Wilder's, Lawrence Kane's, Marc MacYoung's, etc. materials, i.e. video's, books, blog articles, and training offers. "The information is out there,  you just have to let it in (Luther 'Suitcase' Simpson, Jesse Stone Series)."