Marc MacYoung wrote a post on his blog site today. He doesn't post a lot but when he does he always has something smart and interesting to say. In this particular case it is about blame. In many of his writings he states in as many ways that most violence dependent upon the actions of one individual and one individual only - yourself.
A quote from the post, " ... in a overwhelming majority of the time, what YOU do has a serious influence on whether you're in the meat-grinder, if it's turned on and how fast it is set for. ... " I think we all should read this several times. I believe it now more than any other time in my life especially in my martial arts life. It is up to you, in most cases, to have the ability to avoid almost all violence. I say almost because there are no one hundred percent guarantees but I believe it comes pretty darn close.
It is avoidance. If not then it must be deescalation. These two primary models to avoid violence are the cornerstone to any and all models of self-defense. Read his post and realize what he is saying. If you can't then maybe your not listening to yourself but rather the monkey brain.
What you say, do, imply and project can either make you jump into violent situations or not - it is truthfully your choice in almost all cases. Even those cases where you might tell yourself, "It was unavoidable, he jumped me!" is still your choice. Overall when you say that you could self-analyze and find that maybe you were not projecting an aura of "not me, not a victim" but in essence if you got jumped in all probability you were doing something that projected a vibe that said to the attacker, Victim here!
With my limited experiences along side my considerable mental faculties I have to tell myself that I can not find any real situation that in essence I could not avoid or deescalate for safety and survival. I have lived in various environments that my stupidity could have resulted in violence and damage yet I managed to survive well enough to reach fifty-nine years.
For instance, in the early seventies along with most situations there were racial tensions that were intensified in the job I held back then. We all lived in very close quarters, i.e. open bay bunk houses, etc. and that subjected me to my stupidity resulting in three distinct attempts at my life. One, someone set fire to my bunk in the middle of the night after my drunken state (note: alcohol, etc.). Two, the time a group of individuals in the middle of the night came in and tried to toss me and my bunk out the second story window. Three, the time again in the middle of the night hit me across the forehead with a 2x4 piece of wood and resulted in my jumping up and chasing the culprit down the squad bay (he was much faster than I and got away). Four, the time I was getting off duty and relaxing on the duty bunk when I opened my eyes (don't know why I did at that time but lucky I did) to see a person ready to toss a steel 4' x 6" x 1/2" student driver sign at my head.
I can tell you that in retrospect now I can attribute all those and other incidents to my actions, my deeds and my words entirely. Granted, it was in the performance of my duties but if I had handled things differently, as I did later in the late seventies, I would have had their respect in lieu of their disdain. Again, this is to support what I am saying as I perceive as what I believe Mr. MacYoung is trying to say as well.
Take stock of your way of life and see what aspects might promote violence, etc. It might be a good self-defense training course to figure this out and change the way you do, say, act and imply things. This goes to all kinds of things including the superior indignant looks you might toss back when walking away from a confrontation. Just sayin!
Hmmm...I read the original post and am still not sure if I agree with it. In theory - yes - but that's about where it ends. His point - that defense of self starts way before that first blow is thrown and awareness of what could potentially go down is key to avoiding it - is a good one, but to me this is a slippery slope that always leads to the "Well, it was your fault for ______ (dressing a certain way, drinking, walking in a particular place, wearing your diamond tiara, not understanding the potential threat, etc)!" MAs and folks who train in self-defense know that keeping your head on a swivle is very necessary, but that anyone should have to, I suppose, is the issue. To me, the logical conclusion seems to be this: because you DIDN'T expect the worse and it happened, you're not a victim but almost a willing participant.
ReplyDeleteIn other words, it's not as cut and dry as it seems. Yes, be prepared for stupidity and take steps to recognize and avoid it, but I just think it's a stretch to conclude that because a person didn't somehow recognize and avoid quickly enough that the onus is on them. It's important to understand that you can't always control what happens (to you) but you can control how you deal with that happening.
Again, I get what he and you are saying - I really do. I just don't totally agree, is all I'm saying.