Sense of Achievement - Entitlement

We achieve things in our practice. We achieve a first definitive milestone by achieving the level of black belt - Sho Dan. This has a great significance for almost everyone who trains in a martial system that utilizes the level/grade belt system. Sometimes this is the end goal of many. A few know that this is merely the beginning and immediately strive to achieve more. This is the most difficult stage of all in the martial systems both classical and traditional.

We increase our level of proficiency and by osmosis achievements. This is a difficult transition as it can take us down a path. The path is the choice we make. The path is either a correct path or one that is not conducive to true spirit.

Martial artists who see the path and strive to pass goal posts along that highway to greater proficiency know that this includes such things as mentoring, training, practicing, and assumption of a leadership role. This is a great responsibility to you as a practitioner as well as to those whom you lead, guide and mentor along to finding their own path.

There are dojo practices and training; there are seminars with other leading practitioners; there are competitive encounters; there are actual threats and conflicts that must be traveled to reach a milestone post along that highway - the path. Our perceptive filters build, modify and expand as we travel this road. It has effects - psychological.

How we deal with both the physical and psychological can determine our leadership abilities. It involves an awareness of our ego's and our pride. The side I sometimes use the term coined in the writings of Rory Miller and Marc MacYoung - the monkey.

If we allow it to assume a controlling position then we may fall into that grievous state where we assume a "sense of entitlement." For leaders; for leadership - this is a dangerous and slippery slope.

Do you encounter emotional reactions when a sempai does not bow to you? Do you feel it when they don't address you with a title you have? Do you take homage when a practitioner does not practice the etiquette's you require? Do you assume everyone will come to you and pay homage to you at seminars or other martial gatherings? Do you assume that you should receive recognitions such as rank, titles, etc. because you believe you have earned them? Do you get emotionally stressed if your dojo or practitioners are overlooked for recognitions, promotions, and awards? Do you find that others tend to turn away or avoid eye contact when they see you coming? Are you guilty of assuming a false sense of entitlement?

A false sense of entitlement creates an egoistic prideful attitude that sends a clear signal to all who see's or hear's of it or witnesses it first hand. It is one of those things I would look for in a perspective dojo where I would simply turn around and walk out never to return. I fell pray to that sense of entitlement only to discover just how ridiculous I was being and how that projected that ridiculous false facade to others who simply ignored my presence and had a good laugh at over drinks.

A false sense of entitlement creates a persona that transmits the wrong message for those who follow your lead. How seniors of any martial system act, talk, and walk the walk transmit a great deal as to how one practices and acts both in and out of the dojo. It is a tempering process that also contributes greatly to the proper sense of application to those dangerous principles and techniques learned in - say - karate.

A very slippery slope we encounter in the world of martial arts. It is easy if we are not aware and diligent in our own path to enlightenment and it is a choice between either the dark side or the light side of that path. Assuming the mantel of senior, leader, mentor and a higher level of grade can subvert the way with ego, pride and the resulting sense of entitlement. "Choose your path wisely!"