Losing Face

First time I heard this term was in a movie theater where a Martial Artists or some other decided it was important to take a type of violent action against someone because they lost face. Losing face is something only you, as the person, can either have or not have, lose or not lose, and no one can do it to you either way unless you allow it. Losing face or losing your dignity, prestige, respect, etc.

Lets us start with what is lost. The loss is a self perception of something that denotes you are no longer respected and thus have lost your dignity and maybe had your prestige in a group diminished. Where is the injury here, can it be photographed? Is the damage physical or psychological?

Next, lets say it for what it is, it is that something you personally perceive as important to a level you may be ready to endure physical and legal repercussions to maintain. You, the person, are claiming for yourself what you expect, expectations - a dangerous ideology, for yourself from others. It involves your perception as to your position in some social environment - group dynamics. It is a judgement that you either are or are not adequate in your views and then you may project those view onto someone else when perceiving a slight or "lose of face." Your emotionally investing much into a ideology that may or may not actually be relevant to the situation.

Finally, lets "face" it, this is nothing more than an emotional investment into some story that provides you with self security, comfort, and some status that you need validated at every turn. Only you can lose it, maintain it, and only you can provide the constant need for the interactions that attend to promoting your view of "face." It is a sense of worth that is derived from you perceived status, performance, appearance, or your real self worth. You feel that it affects your prestige, dignity, honor, respect and status.

This term which is Chinese in origin has led many into harm's way and most is because they allowed their ego and pride to dictate their lives when in reality they should conduct themselves for themselves and not allow their "expectations of others" to determine their "face." The moment you allow someone else to dictate to you what your face is then you have lost control of yourself and your life. You are the monkey and the monkey will do everything to satisfy its need and that is chaos. Don't let "losing face" determine whether you are who you are - it is about self esteem, yes?