Respect

Something earned between two individuals. Once earned it can be most difficult to lose. It is, to me, one of those traits we earn that except in extraordinary circumstances can not be lost. It does not happen like love at first sight but is gradually earned as the relationship grows, etc.

Instructors and Practitioners must develop a mutual respect if either expect the process of learning a martial system to be successful and fruitful. Practitioner to Practitioner must also do the same if it is going to work.

There are no words or deeds that can remove respect. The only way respect can be lost is if the person in receipt of another's respect loses it. The person who respects another cannot lose that other persons feeling of respect, impossible. If you warrant/have earned another respect only your actions and deeds can cause it to be lost. If the person who respects you fails to act or do something that says a lack of respect, not necessarily lost, it means that person has lost some of your respect, i.e. respects diminishes or is lost is only feasible from the person in receipt of respect.

I had someone one day tell me that because I didn't do a particular task involving them that I had no respect for them. This statement actually means from my view that the person lacks self-respect. No failure to do some task especially a particular task that the other perceives as respect oriented can remove that giver of respect - the respect they have for the recipient. Make sense?

Respect can be earned, it can be given, it can be lost as well yet all this does not occur in an instant or because someone else fails to meet expectations of the person in receipt of respect from another.

I had a good deal of respect for that someone. I did from time to time forget to do something that involved the someone which was a disappointment to that someone yet it did not reduce, remove, or alter my respect for them one iota. It seems that maybe my focus should be on finding out how and why they have lost respect for themselves or why they perceive a deed as indicative of respect or no-respect. Sounds like a monkey brain story emotional event that has nothing to do with the presenter of respect.

Respect once earned is like forged steel, it just doesn't damage all that easily. Like water flowing over rocks, it takes time to erode away the rock yet even then the rock remains in an altered state which to nature tends to be a good thing. Respect can do that.

Respect in the dojo also forges steel. The relations of the dojo tend to become strong and can last for life even when things happen, as they will with foible human beings, it tends to be altered yet remains at its core. This must be of great consideration when seeking instruction in martial "combative" arts/systems.